In a world where you can't just walk into a McDonald's and get a meal 70 seconds later, you can probably guess that having your own supply of stored food will come in useful. You might even be able to make some educated guesses about what will work best. Canned foods, dry grains, maybe seeds for a garden. But would you think of honey? Many survival experts would, exactly like Winnie the Pooh.

Disney
Survivalist.

Why honey? A few reasons. First, it lasts forever, which is a big deal when planning a stockpile. It's also obviously very calorie-dense, which makes it relatively efficient, if not precisely a balanced diet. But eating it raw probably isn't its optimal use; it's better suited for making other food taste better. That might sound like a small thing, but it will become a real factor when all the supermarkets have been cleaned out.

Joey Foley/Getty Images Entertainment
And you have to eat your way through a Payless.

But a small dog, with their much smaller appetites, might make more sense. Yes, your beagle might not be much use in a fight with Lord Humungus, but it can serve as an alarm. For a few scraps of food, you'll be able to rest easy every night, knowing you'll be alerted if anyone approaches the compound you've established in that Payless.

... you'll find an older-model car far more useful than a newer one.

Unless you need cup holders. Those old cars sucked for cup holders. And you might need cup holders, because...

In any apocalypse worthy of the name, all our utilities are going to stop working, leaving your domestic plumbing useful for not much more than disposing of your tears. But if you have the foresight or good fortune to live near a well or clean lake or running stream, then you might have a chance. Unfortunately, water is damned, damned heavy, which makes the simple process of lugging it around a real problem you likely had never considered. After an apocalypse, any sturdy container which can carry water will be unusually valuable. And a wheeled garbage can? You'd be ballin'. You're going to be damned glad you've got that tiny dog around to guard it.

Purifying water will be a big challenge in our new, awful world. Boiling it is the safest way to kill pathogens, but in some situations, that might not be possible or practical. Which is why a bottle of pool shock could come in handy. Pool shock is the common name for calcium hypochlorite, and is normally used for cleaning pools. Although hardly an everyday item you have on hand, you'll want to know what it is to at least understand why someone felt the need to kick in the door of that pool supply store down the street from Fort Payless. It's because it can do a great job of disinfecting drinking water.

If you know what you're doing.

estt/iStock/Getty Images
Which you probably don't.

Seriously, this is a ridiculously powerful chemical which can do a lot of harm if misused. But if you do know how to use it, a single bottle could disinfect thousands of gallons of water.

Or clean your pool, if you're going through one of those fairly easy apocalypses.

Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and would quite probably die if even the internet went down for an hour. His first novel, Severance, is incredible and available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Apex Books. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.

Cracked is up for a Webby Award for Best Video Entertainment! And we're thiiiiiiis close to winning! Help us destroy our enemies by voting here.

See why the end of the world is upon us in 5 News Stories That Prove the Apocalypse Is Here, and learn why most of you will die pooping in 4 Embarrassing Ways Most People Would Die in an Apocalypse.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see why the end of the world can't happen soon enough in Why We Can't Wait for the Apocalypse, and watch other videos you won't see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook, because when the end of times is nigh, Cracked rides together!