Inexplicably worse than everything you know about bedbugs already is the fact they engage in traumatic insemination, an activity that is literally more disturbing than it already sounds, and it actually even manages to shame the way the aliens of Alien reproduce. Remember them? The aliens? How a vagina-butt with fingers leaps like an NBA All-Star player onto your face and jams a floppy dong down your gullet and puts an alien baby in your chest? Remember that? At least the aliens have the courtesy to use a hole you already have.
"300 thread count? You deserve this. Step up your game, asshole."
Once a boy bedbug falls in love with a girl bedbug, he uses his knife-like wang to stab a hole in her abdomen and fill it with his seed. The lady limps off thinking she got the shit end of the reincarnation stick as the wound heals or maybe gets infected, and little awful bedbugs start forming inside of her. It's the circle of life.
Bears: I Know What You Did Last Summer
Bears are absolutely adorable when they're stuffed or named Paddington. In the real world, unless they're tiny little cubs, watch out. And even then, did you see The Revenant? Did you see what happens when Leonardo DiCaprio runs afoul of two cubs? The mother bear allegedly raped him. Best to avoid these bestial killing machines altogether.
An unnamed Russian hunter thought he could take on one of these merciless beasts and took his shot. He hit the bear in the leg, and it fled, wounded but alive. The hunters couldn't find it. Meanwhile, like any good serial killer born from a need for vengeance, the bear regrouped and plotted.
It was smarter than average.
The hunters spent an uneventful night in the woods. But, when they returned to camp the next day, the stage was set for dread. Claw tracks through the mud led to one car -- one car among three, aka the car belonging to the hunter who had taken that fateful shot, that was now torn to pieces and smashed apart by massive, inhuman claws. The other two cars were untouched, and the hunter had no food in his vehicle. This was no random animal attack. This was a message.
"I have your registration. I know where you live."
Consider what would have happened if the hunter had been alone in the woods. His means of transportation had been destroyed. He would have been stranded. Stranded with a bear smart enough to track down and destroy his vehicle. It may as well have written "I Know What You Did" in blood on the smashed hood.
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