8 Insane Kids' Toys You'll Wish Were Real

Kids these days are pussies. Wait, don't leave, I have a solution! Millennials were marketed action figures for straight-up R-rated movies like Terminator 2. Even the genital-blasting RoboCop got his own toy line. Granted, it was for the animated series, but he was still totally murdered in the intro. And if my data-scrolls are correct, children born before 1975 were issued handguns at birth and regularly played with munitions. Was this healthy? Maybe not. Did this help prepare everyone under 25 for the great stockpile wars of 2028? Time will tell. I guess what I'm saying is that children need more age-inappropriate material turned into dope-as-hell products their parents can blindly placate them with! Like these:

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8
Snowpiercer

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7
Nightcrawler

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6
American Sniper

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5
Django Unchained

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4
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

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3
John Wick

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2
Magic Mike

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1
Straight Outta Compton

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For more kids toys that children probably shouldn't have access to, check out 15 Unintentionally Perverted Toys Children and 6 Beloved 80's Toys With Bizarrely Horrifying Origin Stories because why should a child's life be any less horrifying than it already is?

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