You're Not Welcome Here, Clown
You know, fuck it. I'm going to get a real drink. Come on, Blaydon. This amphitheater looks like just the place, and ...
... well that's just fucking discrimination.
OK, technically this isn't passive-aggressive; it's a little too matter-of-fact for that. But, this is still one hell of a sign, if only because of the implication that this has happened enough times that they need a sign.
What Probably Happened Here:
The rational answer is that this is a beer garden at a concert or carnival or something, somewhere people can get their faces painted. And this sign, and the provincial laws that apparently backstop it, are designed to thwart clever teenagers from getting their faces painted to make their fake IDs more plausible.
Or, it could just be an Insane Clown Posse concert.
But, fuck the rational answer. No, this venue, and apparently the entire province, is dealing with the residents of an out-of-control Animal-House-esque mime school and has passed legislation to finally crack down on their shenanigans.
"Yeah, you should better run, mime!"
"No, Jim, it's a trick, watch out!"
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and will leave his child unattended wherever he feels like. His first novel, Severance, is incredible and available on Amazon, Barnes And Noble, or Apex Books. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
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