Or prelit with LED lights you control from your smartphone. Or, most abhorrent of all, upside down:
This is a bush.
Before you start railing about the historical basis for an upside-down tree, let me stop you. It doesn't matter. It still looks ridiculous. This year, Target is offering the piece de resistance of over-the-top ostentatiousness: a 7-foot, prelit, upside-down, gold glitter, artificial showstopper that will set you back $900 ...
And your dignity.
... which is a bargain considering their priciest tree, the traditional oriented cashmere pine, tops out at $4,400.
For obvious reasons.