Hostel made a decent box office profit for a torture porn movie and got a massive amount of buzz. However, being a gratuitously gory horror movie really limits its target demographic. Imagine how many people it could reach if they remade it for a wider audience.
All you have to do is take out everything that made the movie inappropriate for kids, and you're left with, um ... people being negative to other people, and some form of red liquid.
My proposal is that we have a very mischievous young child who goes around and asks other kids if they want to look at his plastic chainsaw. While they are distracted by the brightly colored toy and its moving parts, he squirts ketchup on them, getting their clothes dirty and -- this is the scary part -- causing their parents to be mad at them. I can tone this down if it's still too horrifying.
One of the tragic victims.