6

Flush Force And Poopeez

Spin Master may not be as big as Hasbro or Mattel, but the Canadian company employs over 1,000 people worldwide and gave the world Bakugan, Air Hogs, Aquadoodle, and PAW Patrol. It has received 82 Toy of the Year nominations since 2002, more than any other toy maker in the world. When it comes to toys, they know what they're doing, and what they're doing now is taking Pikachu, drowning him in brown trout, and calling that "Flush Force."

Spin Master

5

Sticky The Poo

Ask any kid, and they'll tell you that their favorite quality of a really primo shit is how it sticks to things. The company Hog Wild knows this, and delivered on countless hopes and dreams with "Sticky the Poo," a sticky shit that sticks and looks like shit. Listen, I don't have a lot to describe here, so you're going to be hearing this frequently.

Vat19/YouTube

4

Toilet Trouble

Oh, yeah, it's another "Try to avoid having human waste products flung at your face!" game. It's a whole genre. Hasbro's Toilet Trouble is like a plastic middle school bully that you can gift to your children. For this, you simply spin the toilet paper roll and flush the toilet. The unlucky will then have the toilet belch forth a stagnant spray of fun right into their faces, teaching them once and for all that the mirth of others is entirely dependent on them getting a snootful of tepid splashback.

Hasbro

The popularity of Toilet Trouble is staggering. Over 80 reviews at Walmart, 200 at Toys R Us, a ball-chilling 400 at Amazon, and you better believe they're all from people almost universally stoked by their experience of getting hosed down by the crapper. You know what passes for a negative review of this game? "Did not shoot toilet water in my face." That's the chief complaint. "I wanted a septic system face bath and this thing didn't deliver, what the fuck?"

3

Don't Step In It

If you have dogs, or a super lazy dad, you've experienced a solid footblast of shit in your day. No one likes to step in shit. Now, what's the basis of every good board game you can think of? Doing something you absolutely hate, if Monopoly is any indication. So it must have been a no-brainer for Hasbro to come up with this clever contraption, which asks you to try to avoid stepping in shit. That's the whoooole game.

But don't worry, they made it more reasonable by giving you a blindfold, so it's fun now.

Hasbro

Here's part of the description from Amazon:

• Mold the included compound to look like piles of poop
• Step in the fewest poops to win
• Play with friends or dodge the poop solo

Imagine being at a point in your life where you're dodging poop solo for fun. That's only a few licks of lead paint away from dancing with your cat by candlelight. And because it's Hasbro, this game is everywhere -- Amazon, Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, pretty much any place you can think of that sells games. Is it, in fact, harder to avoid than stepping in a pile of shit?

2

POOP: The Game

POOP: The Game is a game in which you have to be the first to get rid of all your cards whilst avoiding clogging the toilet. It's like a smellier version of UNO. Many of the cards feature cartoon pictures of turds bedazzled with corn nuggets. Because corn is hard to digest, you see, and will often stud your shit like diamonds in a tiara. This is educational, please take notes.

Breaking Games

1

Poopyhead And Doody Head

When you're trying to come up with a tagline for a poop-themed game, you want to pen something more inspired than "This game is shit," because maybe someone will misunderstand. The Poopyhead game -- not to be confused with the Doody Head game -- offers up "The game where number 2 always wins." Get it? Number two? That's a shit euphemism inside a gaming pun! Shitception!

Identity Games

Both Poopyhead and Doody Head ask you to hang a grogan right on your melon so others in the room can experience some solid jollity at your expense. In Poopyhead, you have to get rid of all the cards in your hand first, and if you fail, a crown of rubber ass biscuit for you, good sir. In Doody Head, someone just throws Velcro shits at you. Both games have hundreds of reviews, and neither one really does much to answer the question of why, exactly, a shit on your head is such rollicking good fun. But if we've learned nothing else from the proliferation of dung-themed toys, it's that there is clearly a zeitgeist here. We live in shitful times.

Daron

Or, you know, kids think poop is funny.

Come on, you know you want that ridiculous poop emoji plush displayed prominently in your room. Go for it.

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For more bizarre toys, check out The 13 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Children's Toys and 27 Famous Childhood Toys That Are Terrifying in Retrospect.

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