I suppose, as a thought exercise or a flight of fancy, most of us have at least imagined once or twice what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex. How would you approach life, what would you do first? For women, "pee standing up" is often the go-to answer for this. But for a dude, I like to think the answer is "jam a poster of '70s heartthrob Donny Osmond inside myself."
On an episode of what must have been an awesome show called Bizarre ER that aired over in the U.K. on BBC3, which is easily thrice as cool as BBC1, a woman was whisked away to the ER complaining of abdominal pains that, as it turned out, were a result of her having rolled up a poster of Donny Osmond and thrust it deep into her clamarama. Most of us would probably conclude that this was at least a possible source of discomfort all on our own, even with no medical training, if a similar situation presented itself. Like you'd be home watching American Horror Story thinking "Man, my guts is a-hurtin' real bad. Maybe, before dialing 911, I should remove this rolled-up poster of '70s pop star Donny Osmond, see if I perk up at all." Then you'd do that, maybe set it on a coaster on the table or whatever, take a Tylenol, have a tea, and discover that, yes, you do feel better when you don't have a poster jammed into your reproductive organ.