Longest Hitless Streak
Bill Bergen is the worst batter in baseball history. He hit .170 over his career. In 1909 he set two batting records that have stood for more than a century: Lowest Season Batting Average (.139) and Longest Hitless Batting Streak (46). Forty-six at bats without a hit ... I bet when Bill Bergen finally broke the pinata at his sixth birthday party, he took off his blindfold to see divorce papers from his third wife.
This very year, baseball fans looked on in morbid fascination when they realized Craig Counsell of the Brewers might actually beat Bergen's timeless failure. He struggled to the plate 45 straight times without a hit. No one has tried so hard for such an extended period of time with zero results since the TSA.
Craig's big at bat came on August 5th when, with a 6 run lead in the 9th inning, his coach thought it'd be funny to let him tie the dubious record as a pinch hitter. Ha ha, try to figure that shit out, future historians! Unfortunately, Craig failed to fail and hit a single. Sorry to let you down, future historians.