You'll have a lot of your conventional weaponry, like machine guns firing bombs, pistols firing bombs, shotguns firing bombs, etc. But you'll also have some more creative weaponry, like missiles that can turn corners; RPGs that hone in on a person once they get close enough, so the victim thinks he dodges it only to have it smack into him from behind; and of course the default melee weapon of your fists, which causes a grenade level explosion upon contact.
Obviously you can't have people take the damage they normally take in other multiplayer games when hit with explosives, nor the extensive waiting times when one dies. Instead, everyone has enough health to take, say, 50 machine gun-bombs, and have them quickly respawn, being dead only one or two seconds, long enough to see what surface their remains slam against.
Finally, the players will be affected by the physics of any explosion, and with so many, they either need to avoid being shot (with this amount of explosions, unlikely) or learn how to adjust to the disorientation of the explosions. Levels will be wide open and sprawling, to allow a degree of maneuverability in the face of so many large-radius explosions, as well as to make a satisfying visual indicator of how far a body falls.
Because goddammit, games don't have enough explosions.
Roughly half of the concepts that I've highlighted here address some heavy issues: They're games that deal with not overcoming, but embracing your own limitations, coping with pending insanity and coming to terms with the consequences of your actions in the total absence of societal morality. And lofty concepts like those can make for some amazing games.
But if everything always means everything, then meaning itself becomes meaningless. Remember when you went through your "deep stoner" phase? Discussing Wittgenstein over bong tokes like your limited, masturbatory teenage experience in the world could possibly contribute something meaningful to any conversation? That was fun. But eventually, the conversation always turned back to Dr. Mario and titties, because "deep" has an expiration date, but retarded bullshit is forever.
Sometimes, gamers just have to admit that our favorite part of a game is the part that went "boom," and wouldn't it be great if it all went boom? Wouldn't it be great if it all went boom, all the time?
But What If ...
You actually just made that game, developers? What if you just shut your f*****g idea-holes for a second and gave us Multiplayer Boom-Boom: Explosion Edition? What would happen?
You would make a billion goddamn dollars. That's what would happen.
So there you go: That's a small sampling of the best games never made, as put forth by a random assortment of Cracked readers. And it's nothing special. Nobody's saying that these are the greatest ideas that will ever exist. If you think you can do better, smart guy, well -- OK. That's probably fair. Give it a shot! Spout your idea loud and proud, and let us all wallow in your nerd-droppings.
Get the first episode of Robert's Sci-Fi Serial Novel, Rx: A Tale of Electronegativity, right here, or buy Robert's other book, Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead. Follow him on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook.
For more from Brockway, check out 5 Reasons GTA IV Is The Worst Great Game Ever Made and In Defense of Games as Art.