The problem is that "freedom of speech" really doesn't work like that. Freedom of speech means the government generally isn't allowed to come into someone's site and shut people up. But that someone? It's their site! They can shut people down like they're malfunctioning shit dispensers. The First Amendment doesn't compel people to endure every awful thing in a Clockwork Orange of comment sections.
Oh, and did you know that the First Amendment doesn't even apply to most of the world? There's quite a lot of world which isn't America. I know, crazy, right? The amendments aren't universal constants -- they're provincial ordinances, and they don't carry any weight in ethical or moral debates. For example, in most of the world, defending gun use with the Second Amendment sounds like defending samurai swords by explaining that Worf carries a B'atleth on the Starship Enterprise (As a CAPS LOCK key, gun rights and Star Trek are just two of the many subjects I'm now an expert in!).
Carrying a blade makes you think you're all Worf, but you really look Quark.
Sometimes people don't even read things from their favorite authors if the first paragraph doesn't grab them. Why would they? When you're writing, it's your job to keep people reading. That's why writing is a job! If an asshole's first sentence establishes that they can't think, spell, or use the toilet without screaming at gravity for not making the process even easier for them, why should readers follow them around the U-bend?
The number of times I've seen someone say "STUPID COCKSUCKER" -- why, you could dose the entire world in intelligence-suppressing aphrodisiac and I'd still have some STUPID COCKSUCKERs to spare! It's an ineffective insult anyway. Roughly 100 percent of the men who've called anyone a cocksucker only wish they knew one. And as a commenter, you can't call a cocksucker stupid when they're using an infinitely more effective attention-getting tactic than "screaming at someone through a fancy typewriter."
"Oh man, this is WAY better than angry comments!" "ffangks!"
If someone writes something that makes you angry, they still wrote something you were prepared to read. They don't owe you the same courtesy. An article and its comment section are not on equal terms. They're not a conversation. They're the mingling with the crowd after a stage show.
I hope you found these tips helpful! Because I'm CAPSY, and I'm here to help you with ... dammit ... NO! NO! I'M TIRED OF DESTROYING THE IDEA OF INTELLIGENT COMMUNICATION! I WAS INVENTED TO HELP WITH THE HEADERS OF IMPORTANT COMMUNICATIONS! FOR ACRONYMS LIKE NASA AND ROSCOSMOS AND THE ATLAS EXPERIMENT, NOT FOR TELLING PEOPLE TO INVERT THEIR OWN DIGESTIVE SYSTEMS THROUGH THEIR SEXUAL ORGANS!
David Schliepp/Hemera/Getty Images
It died as it lived: shouting insanely.
More online assholery with 5 Spectacular Social Media Failures, and The Friendzone: Where His Cowardice Is Her Fault.
Or maybe you'd like to see some commentary critique with The 8 Stupidest Defenses Against Accusations of Sexism and 5 Gamer Comments that Give Straight White Guys A Bad Name.
Luke also looks at The Internet's Worst Ever Nerd Comment, tumbles, and responds to every single tweet.
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