Superheroes Are Overrated: 6 Villains I'd Rather Date

Plus, he's so honest. With Skeletor, what you see is what you get. It's all in the name. He's a skeleton man. If he had a profile on a dating website you wouldn't even need to click the picture. What superhero is this honest? They're all about secret identities and sneaking around. Skeletor will take you for a big, romantic getaway to Snake Mountain, where you can relax by the glowing light of lava flowing from the snake's mouth, crank some Barry White, get loose, and just see what happens.

The Downside Is:

Skeletor is obviously terrible with money. Does he even have a job? What is his income exactly? Is someone paying him to fight He-Man, or is he living on Daddy's money? He lives in Snake Mountain, not Skull Mountain, which makes me pretty sure he's renting that mountain. The rent on a mountain must be pretty high. Why doesn't he just buy a more modest abode instead of renting an entire mountain?

NBCUniversal Television Distribution

He's got a couple of henchmen but it really doesn't seem like enough to justify a mountain. Maybe he has a bad credit history so he can't buy a house but even in that case, he could still rent something smaller than a mountain. A mansion or a castle would be a cheaper and still equally sinister choice. If you're going to date Skeletor, I suggest a couple of fun outings like Go-Karting or Putt-Putting. Then maybe get out of there before he starts asking to borrow twenty bucks for a tune up on the Havoc Staff.

The Downside Is:

Clayface has done some pretty terrible things in his past, like pursing an acting career. Luckily, he's now in the much more stable profession of crime, so I'm willing to look past that. But is he still all about that drama?

I can just see him shape-shifting into your cousin Janice and dropping by to dish about your new boyfriend. Then when you say "I just wish he hadn't eaten all of my pizza bagels. It was a full double box. That's, like, 18 pizza bagels," he reveals his true self and is all "I knew you were angry about the pizza bagels!" But you'll probably just fight a little and then he'll turn into a giant fuzzy unicorn and cuddle you, and you can't stay mad at a unicorn. So, prepare yourself for some theatrics but if you can keep it light and breezy, the risk might be worth the reward of dating this tall, dark, handsome, mud man.

Warner Bros. Television Distribution

The Downside Is:

It must be ... huge.

Marvel

Whether he's headed down to the sewer to beat up some teenagers, or just out for a casual dinner with you, Shredder is dressing to the nines and you have to respect that! Even if you don't love Shredder's Man-In-The-Iron-Mask-meets-LuLaRoe vibe (seriously those leggings look comfy), you have to respect his commitment to the look. He's been rocking this classic for decades and he's not letting it go. Razor blade-covered leg warmers haven't been in since 1988, but Shredder don't care. He sticks by his convictions and you should stick by his stylish side.

The Downside Is:

You have to share your stuff with him. You know that if you're both rocking those buttery-soft leggings, things are going to get mixed up in the wash and he's just going to wear yours and, oh my god, why do they look better on him? Not cool. He'll be reading your Vanity Fair, stealing your eyeliner, then one day he'll ask to borrow your curling iron to combat all that helmet hair and you'll just say, "BOY, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Plus, Shredder hangs with a weird crowd. You don't want Bebop and Rocksteady sitting on your couch, playing Xbox all day. Krang will be trying to hook up with all of your friends, touching them with his tiny wiggly tentacle arms. Barf. The key to this relationship is boundaries. Make sure to clearly say to Shredder, "If you use my razor blades to bling out your leg warmers, you're toast. If Krang puts those mushy stubs on Denise one more time, I'm out." As long as Shredder respects those boundaries, he's a real catch!

CBS Television Distribution

The Downside Is:

Does Dr. Doom even know how to relax? Hustle is nice but sometimes you just want a man to brush your hair and watch the last season of Downton Abbey with you. I'm not sure if Dr. Doom is capable of a quiet night of hair brushing. Sure, he would do it, he's not a monster, but his heart would be somewhere else. Probably murdering Reed Richards. If you decide to scoop up this perfect-on-paper supervillain, prepare for some lonely nights while he's inventing a device that drains Latveria's overflowing sewage system through a magic portal into Reed Richards' kitchen. That's what I call multitasking, Doomy! Work, work, work.

PublicDomainPictures/Pixabay

Plus, Magneto is all about family. What did he name his terrorist organization? The Brotherhood Of Evil Mutants! He's got three living children of his own: Polaris, Scarlet Witch, and Quicksilver. And you don't even want to get into all of the dead ones. This man loves fathering children!

The Downside Is:

This man loves fathering children. Parenting children though? Not exactly his style. He seems to have one move and it's get a woman pregnant then peace out until the children are adults. Then he'll show up one day and be like, "Sup, I'm your Dad. Also, want to be a terrorist?" This is surprisingly effective for him. Unsurprisingly, it's a little hard on the kids. Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver have a bit of an incesty vibe, Scarlet Witch and Polaris both have serious mental disorders, and Quicksilver has tried to kill Magneto on multiple occasions. And there was the time Scarlet Witch accidentally altered all of reality.

Marvel

In short, the family dynamics are a little complicated. Still, if you're willing to tackle the challenge, go for it! Just remember: When you marry a man, you marry his entire incesty, psychotic, homicidal family. This is made even more complicated when one of your stepdaughters has the power to alter reality to the point that you were born a popcorn kernel. But hey. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Lydia has a blog and a twitter.

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