Pictured: A dog thinking about converting to Judaism.
Sure, maybe if you have one of those shivery little dogs that chicks carry around in purses, throwing a sweater on it during inclement weather is a fine idea. Those poor little pups look like they're always
freezing, they can use the extra warmth. But putting shoulder pads and a helmet on your Saint Bernard because the Jets made the playoffs is like two steps away from full on animal abuse. The only person who thinks this is a good idea is you. The rest of the world just assumes you're a lonely old spinster who never found someone to love you and therefore never had kids that you could torture with your absurd fashion sense. And they're probably right. Hey, speaking of kids ...
Getting a Pet to Practice Being Parents
It seems like a good idea on paper. There is a lot of responsibility that comes with owning a pet, so what better way to gear up for the rigors of parenthood than adopting an adorable little animal, right? It will be just like having a kid! Sure, except for the part where kids are living, breathing human beings that can't simply be locked in a bathroom or tossed in the backyard when they're being too loud, which they absolutely will be for at least the first 12 months. You also can't put a bowl of food on the floor and leave your newborn alone for 6 hours while you go out and get hammered and expect everything to be good times when you return. Raising a pet is to raising a child what the Olive Garden is to eating Italian food. They are not even kind of the same thing, and to suggest that the two experiences are similar is nothing short of disrespectful.