Bayonetta is what happens when you get God of War without the desperate insecurity. She still strips off to eliminate everything she encounters, but does it with a genuine sense of enjoyment instead of yelling to try to make herself feel big enough.
She uses her magical hair to create clothes and conjure attacks. The more hair used for an attack or to summon a demon, the less hair left to cover her body.
Why That's Bullshit:
Bayonetta's ridiculous excuse is that it's not an excuse at all, which is brilliant. The only bullshit here is how it highlights every other developer for the cowards they are. When asked about the sexiness, developer Hideki Kamiya told 1UP:
"So the whole, the theme of her attacks is 'sexiness.' So, when I was working on Dante's theme, his theme was 'Coolness,' and Viewtiful Joe's theme was 'Beauty.' ... What I want her to do is to use that little space to make herself look sexy."
See, every other developer? How hard was it to admit that you just want sexy? Or is that the wrong question in this context? Platinum Games deliberately and blatantly made their character as sexy as possible. And more importantly, they didn't then patronize everyone in the world by claiming that "guy in full battle plate, woman in two bandanas" was anything but blatant pandering.
"Listen, medically-silenced woman, this is completely equal and not sexist at all!"
There's nothing wrong with sexiness. There's everything wrong with sexism. Those are different things! And a huge part of sexism is pretending that the one-sided, one-flavor, cis straight guy idea of sexiness is some kind of neutral normal. "Totally blatantly about staring at simulated tits" is absolutely fine if you're honest about it. In fact, that's the entire design document for Dead Or Alive Extreme 3. It's only a pity there isn't an equivalent game about burly lumberjacks and Greek statues of ballet dancers struggling on an island based on lumberjacking and working in a body oil factory. Yet. But there will be, and it will make money.
If developers would just admit they like looking at naked bodies, they might realize other people do too. Then add a few more options. And then they'd have even more fans, and everyone would be enjoying the sexiness together. Instead of insisting that straight male sexual preference is a fundamental force of the virtual world transmitted exclusively by hard-ons.
Luke has a website, tumbles, and responds to every single tweet.
Get more sex-obsessed video games in The 5 Most Ridiculous Ways Video Games Tried To Be Sexy, and find out why some games should be rated "J" for jerk-off material in 5 Video Game Ratings That Would Be More Accurate.
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