None of that matters, though, because it can't answer opponents' ironclad premise that homosexuals are fags. Why extend rights to someone who's not technically human, like zombies or people with diabetes? That's the core of opposing arguments, which do for reasoned debate what MC Escher did for staircases. Even though our most pornographic science proves no sane person objects to lesbians, Logic does not shine her symmetrical good looks on people obsessed with strangers' genitals. If it did, we wouldn't have toxic notions like female circumcision, celebrity fleshlights, and vajazzling.
You can't copyright a retrovirus
That same myopia afflicted us with Color Me Badd
If someone's not going to argue logically, you won't sway them logically. Your response will have to be even crazier. That's why I present you with maniacal rebuttals to the five most common arguments against gay marriage, plus one solid one for after you break their minds.
Warner Bros. They own everything. Even YOU!
1, 2, 3, 4...5! It's like that plus Martian Manhunter
The case against gay marriage is laid out courtesy of