Nevertheless, walking through the door each morning never fails to remind me of all those years I spent working in offices of the soul-crushing variety, and all of the petty things that you wouldn't believe can escalate into full-scale wars in any office. For example ...
The office thermostat might as well be that comically large red button that sets off a nuclear war in movies. Take a quick survey of the thermostats in your office and you're bound to come across one that has a screaming yellow Post-it note attached to it with the words "DON'T TOUCH!!!" scrawled angrily across the paper.
It usually happens when, through some marvel of shitty heating and cooling installation, the room that holds the thermostat also features a radically different climate from the rest of the building. The thermostat might claim that the temperature is a comfortable 72 degrees, but in that one room, for whatever reason, it's balmy as shit. Meanwhile, the people sitting in the larger part of the office are as comfortable as can be.
"If not for the part where we all hate life, this would be paradise."