The headline of the news article I'm linking here is "Man Charged Again With Having Sex With Horse." It's a busy headline with a lot of powerful imagery. If headlines were vacuous, self-involved reality stars, this headline would easily be a Kardashian, possibly even a Trump. The source of its power, its radioactive spider bite, if you will, is the word "again." Rarely will an adverb be the most powerful word in a sentence, but here it is king. On the left you have Bill, a man who is charged with having sex with a horse. On your right is Bob, a man who is charged again with having sex with a horse. Bill, you might be interested in this, as Bob is constantly porking horses. He's like some kind of equine Wilt Chamberlain.
Never should the day arrive in your life when a news story about you focuses exclusively on your barnyard sexual proclivities and how you're at it again. It means you've gone astray in a most terrible way in life and now you're a hilarious repetitious punchline, like when Peter Griffin fights that damn chicken. Or, in this case, bends it over and makes sour, repulsive barnyard love to it.
In 2012, Cirilo Castillo was arrested for trying to make a woman out of a neighbor's horse. He was released from jail in April of 2013, and the owners of the horse put up a security camera because they were pretty confident Castillo would be coming back to horse around some more. The sheriff was quoted as saying the neighbors were getting "sick and tired" of Castillo and that he would continue to do it if no one stopped it. Those few tidbits indicate pretty clearly that, despite being arrested only once before, it was pretty obvious that Castillo was always humping this horse. Like a dog that shits on your lawn every day, this guy must have been chasing down Appaloosa poontang all the time to get to the point where neighbors would have to describe it as something they're sick and tired of. It happens once, you're appalled. Twice, you're disgusted. Fifteen times, it's like a guy who revs the engine of his crappy '87 Chevy in the driveway for no reason while blasting Journey songs.
So basically this story is about a man who continually humps one horse and everyone in the neighborhood, including the police, knows about it. And he was arrested again. And hopefully somewhere, right now, Bon Jovi is writing a song about this. A mournful, twangy hit.
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