Kluver-Bucy syndrome describes a condition where, after experiencing damage to a specific part of the brain, the victim suddenly finds himself, amongst other symptoms, desiring to indiscriminately have sex with things. This is classically illustrated by the case of a fellow trying to make love to a sidewalk, an act that I'm struggling to imagine was very tender.
The Superhero: The Bonelord
I'm not going to lie: I'm pretty fucking excited about the Bonelord, and will sue the hair off of anyone who infringes on this idea. Here's what I'm thinking:
By day the Bonelord is billionaire playboy John Johnson, known for his vast fortune in military research and the loose-fitting trousers he's never seen without. But, using his expertise and resources to craft a variety of weaponized... prosthetic... weapons, by night he transforms into the Bonelord, and goes forth to fuck crime.
If two years from now the Bonelord isn't the star of the next big movie franchise, I will be pretty goddamned surprised. Sure, this will be a little hard to fit within the confines of a PG-13 rating, but with some clever editing, and the bulk of his on-screen crime-fucking left to inanimate objects only, I don't see how this is any worse than most comedies these days. And once you see the storyboard I've drawn of a dude fucking a bus in half, I'm sure you'll see the potential as well.
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and is waiting for your call, Hollywood. Join him on Facebook or Twitter and gaze upon the other incredible things he has wrought.