6 Embarrassing Roles Marvel Actors Hope You Forgot

Those of you with terrible taste might also remember him in National Lampoon's Senior Trip. But for anyone who grew up in the 90s, the Renn-Dog was secretly a household staple you probably weren't even aware of. For this generation, Hawkeye's face is an undefined specter of TV nostalgia secretly looming in our collective memory. A whisper in the void, inadvertently causing us to pine for simple household comforts like a wayward hiker on his last breath. That's because Jeremy Renner was in pretty much every 90s commercial in existence. From Duracell, where he entombed the running of the bulls into a d-volt like they were a pack of genies ...

Duracell
This is how all batteries are made.

... To an ad where he takes a date to 7-Eleven after hallucinating a sexy angel, and somehow gets laid for that ...

7-Eleven

7-Eleven
"They sell nachos and condoms, babe!"

... To the time his buddy hired a refrigerator bouncer to protect his Bud Light like some sort of impossible asshole ...

Anheuser-Busch

Anheuser-Busch
With a standard 90s asshole haircut.

... And finally to a tragically dated Kodak ad, featuring all your extinct 90s fads like CD-Rs, photo processing, bulky computers, references to aliens, neck-length grunge hair, and of course Kodak itself.

Eastman Kodak Company

Eastman Kodak Company

Eastman Kodak Company

Eastman Kodak Company
For our younger readers: You used to need a CD to print photos. For our younger younger readers: Photos used to be a physical thing.

Yep. Wherever people were glued to their Twin Peaks and Dr. Quinns, Jeremy was there to sell them gross beer and large batteries. But hey, after paying all his dues, it's finally nice to see him thriving in the tech-savvy 21st century by playing a character known for wielding a weapon from 9,000 BC.

And like the rule of Caligula, the reign of Hemsworth forever ingrained its short span with debauchery and madness. During his time on the show, the character of Kim Hyde underwent having a secret baby, father issues, a serial stalker, a second baby, one failed wedding, his first love triangle, a paternity plot twist, being thrown from a car and left for dead, falling in love with his attending doctor, having his father convicted of murder, rescuing a kidnapped woman, falling in love with the woman he rescued, a second wedding, an explosion, a helicopter crash and by extension a second explosion, nearly dying in the wilderness, having the mumps, getting framed for assault, adopting a third baby, giving the third baby away, having another baby, and one more love triangle before forever leaving the show and our hearts. Also, somewhere in there he managed to be rendered unconscious at least twice:

Southern Star Group

Southern Star Group
He missed the tiny font saying only worthy bank accounts can have the power to withdraw.

You really have to respect the level of acting devotion required for that kind of melodramatic ringer -- especially since he's not the only iconic superhero actor to appear on this show. And if all of this wasn't exhausting enough, dude managed to nab a spot on the Australian version of Dancing With The Stars before getting booted six weeks into the season.

Granada Productions
But not before shaking that Asgard.

Look at that garish shit. Soak in the God of Thunder as he takes those brawny hips for a spin around the world. Somehow it's not hyperbolic to assume that, when offered the role of a God vigilante, Hemsworth considered it a refreshing change to normality. We can laugh, but only because we know he doesn't have time to kick our asses... what with the three babies and all.

One such pubescent muff champion was "Tyler" -- a hip dude who loved to surf, barbecue, and hang with friends in his downtime between talking on the phone and smiling vacantly.

Hasbro, Inc.
"Shields are so much easier to lug around."

Yeah, that's totally Chris Evans right there. As Buzzfeed did the legwork to find out, the photo above comes from his 1999 high school yearbook -- and was apparently enough to wow the makers of this game to feature him on its cover as well.

Hasbro, Inc.

Hasbro, Inc.
"Which of these dreamy 16-year-old hunks is way too old to be dating your 12-year-old daughter? Let her play and find out!"

Look how happy and relaxed he is in his little blue fart cloud, engaging in this Mamet-esque web of telephone tween lust! When confronted about it, Cap was naturally delighted about the internet's discovery -- revealing that it was shot in a single day and that he truly has no idea how to hold a surfboard ... which might explain why he was schooled by a silver one in an arguably more embarrassing past role.

But in all of that madness, there's somehow one hilarious cut that takes absolute importance over all the rest, unfortunately hidden in the depths of cinematic obscurity. Feast your orbs on this amazing shit:

Media Asia Entertainment Group
Made entirely of hot glue and dry fettuccine.

Dude looks like a fucking Tekken character. He's like if Paul Ryan did Super Saiyan cosplay. His hair looks like it grants wishes to frat bros. It's how you imagine a young Doc Brown's pubic hair to look. Please leave a comment to tell us the various things Paul Rudd's hair looks like in that photo.

If you're wondering: That's FBI Agent Ian Curtis, a dickish bossman and token American forced to help fight a giant robot in the Jackie Chan-produced Gen-Y Cops. No, really. Here he is jumping out of an exploding car during the final action sequence:

Media Asia Entertainment Group
"I'm okay! The hair broke my fall!"

And here he is helping to save the day by (spoilers) dragging said robot into a lake before watching it self-destruct.

Media Asia Entertainment Group
The Fast And The Furious: Cantonese Drift

Fantastic. Before you chop this whole ordeal up to the perils of being new to the biz, keep in mind that this film is from fucking 2000 -- long after his roles in American films. According the Pudd himself, the entire debacle came at a financially low moment when he told his agent he'd take any job so long as it paid his next rent. Somehow that resulted in bleaching his hair and flying to Hong Kong for robot grappling ... and the world is better for it.

As recently knee-slapped on The Tonight Show with predictable levels of howling Jimmy Fallon desperation, the Hulk actor explained his audition for the ad -- getting the part because he appeared to have "come right off the street."

Reckitt Benckiser Group
Nothing says "from the streets" like a Ferris Bueller vest and slacks.

That's the opening of the ad where, after bombing through alleyways, his character suddenly realizes that his skin isn't so clear -- presumably while buying the cocaine needed for his evening fuck pile. You probably guessed his character's arc because we already spoiled the ending for you... but needless to say he uses Clearasil's Double Clear pads in a frenzy of drug use -- as artfully portrayed with various "zap" graphics representing the firing brain synapses caused by the rails of blow pumping through his veins like gamma radiation.

Reckitt Benckiser Group
"Don't bother me when I'm applying. You wouldn't like me when I'm applying."

That's right ... It's "extreme" with an "X," therefore highlighting the severity of just how extreme this particular team promises to be. Made in 2003 in New Zealand, the film's IMDb synopsis describes a tale of action, snowboarding, and killer computer programing when a group of important businessmen are kidnapped while on a ski trip ... forcing a Navy SEAL to lead a special "X-Team" into harm's way. Can you guess who plays one of these far-out assassins?

Touchstone Pictures

Touchstone Pictures
Aww, it's Dwarf Star-Lord!

That's a baby-face Chris Pratt you guys. That's a baby-faced Pratt adorned with an orgy of evidence that he's off the fucking chain -- including but not limited to his bead necklace, mop hair, long-sleeve undershirt, and radical chin-tuft.

And that's really all we know about this film, which appears to be all but vanished from the internet or any form of distribution. Pratt, if you're reading this and happen to own your own copy, we'll kindly pay you $20 for it. The world deserves this.

Seriously, Chris Pratt -- contact Dave on his Twitter with instructions on how to purchase a copy of The Extreme Team.

For more movie roles celebrities would wish we could forget, check out 8 Insane Early Roles Famous Actors Don't Want You To See and 5 Great Actors With Dumb Early Roles They Hope We Forgot.

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