This action lands the FBI in a whopping $446 million lawsuit. Only due to Mulder's superhero-like luck, the kid actually turns out to be a vampire in the end -- and his body goes missing from the morgue. And ... for some reason ... that's all it takes for the FBI to move on like one of their agents didn't just stab a teenager in the heart and probably steal his body to avoid prosecution.
In another episode, Mulder decides to let a serial child murderer out of prison, without informing any of his superiors, because the killer claims to know where Mulder's missing sister is buried (Spoiler: He doesn't know). Seriously -- Mulder just takes a dangerous monster out of prison and flies him commercial across the country ...
At least he's responsible enough to not spring for first class.
... before bringing him to a hotel, at which point Mulder falls asleep and has a vivid dream about letting the killer go, only to wake up and discover that he has actually let the killer go. The murderer then kidnaps a little girl and brings her to an abandoned bus.
Apparently, he didn't have the time to dream that little girl bludgeoning her kidnapper to death.
So just to recap: A child's life is in danger because Mulder broke a serial killer out of prison and then set him free in a dream. I can't stress this enough: When Scully and Skinner find Mulder, he actually says, "I must have let him go in my sleep," before everyone just moves on with the episode like that's not a jailable lapse of judgment. But it's OK, because our hero manages to track the little girl down and shoot the killer in the face six inches away from her.
"Don't worry; you'll feel better after a Disney movie or two. Let's start with Old Yeller."
Psychologically speaking, that little girl is now trapped in a bottomless pit. And yet, one episode later, everyone's completely forgotten about that time Mulder let a man out of prison before murdering him in a bus. How does he still have a job? Seriously -- Chris Carter, creator of The X-Files, I want you to explain to me why Mulder can hold down a job at the FBI. I don't care if he's the best criminal profiler they have -- every other aspect of this man's job is done with such overt insanity that even his field reports read like a chilling Facebook manifesto:
Aside from the perfect spelling, obviously.
This is from the end of an episode where Mulder finds killer cockroaches and helps blow up an entire building. After spending hundreds of dollars on travel and food expenses, Mulder's official FBI report reads:
"The development of our cerebral cortex has been the greatest achievement of the evolutionary process. Big deal. While allowing us the thrills of intellect and the pangs of self-consciousness, it is all too often overruled by our inner instinctive brain -- the one that tells us to react, not reflect, to run rather than ruminate. Maybe we have gone as far as we can go, and the next advance -- whatever that may be -- will be made by beings we create ourselves using our own technology. Life-forms we can design and program not to be ultimately governed and constricted by the rules of survival."
Jesus Christ. Look, I love this show -- but in terms of both square footage and the amount they'd save in public safety settlements, Mulder's basement office is worth way more to the FBI as an actual basement.
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