Risking her personal safety, this woman confronted him and shot the whole thing on her phone. Without so much as raising her voice, she embarrasses him worse than a family stumbling across Blue Is The Warmest Color on movie night. He apparently becomes so ashamed he destroys the photos by biting the flash card in half. I do not know what she's saying to him, because it's in Chinese, but it's clearly so cutting he hides his face until the next stop and then runs away like the rich villain at the end of a college frat movie.

She stuck her neck out for the good of us all and used her superhuman shaming abilities to get this unmitigated dickwad to run off with his tail between his legs.

There aren't a lot of countries where you can see a world-class staging of Ondine and also be attacked by a pack of wild dogs. But that's what gives Russia its special je ne sais aaahI'mbeingkilledbydogs! In this video, a woman is just walking down the snowdrift, minding her own business, when she is set upon by a pack of wild dogs. It's important to note here the lack of any reaction whatsoever from the person filming this dog attack. They observe the scene with the engagement of a sedated sloth.

But, believe it or not, the cold-hearted psychopath recording the scene is only the second-most-remarkable person in this video.

As the woman screams and the dogs begin to nip at her, a man comes charging in to save the day armed only with a snow shovel. He's like a real-life Old Man Marley if Old Man Marley did PCP. (Not a bad idea for a Home Alone reboot.) He manages to scare off all the dogs, saving the woman from what I assume is Russia's second-most-common cause of death, after "gladiator combat in the thunderdome."

With a grand total of 10 seconds from the start of the attack until he comes sprinting in, this guy clearly just threw himself into the fray on someone else's behalf, making him an undeniable hero. Conspicuously not a hero, however, is whoever uploaded this thing and put a midi version of "Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy" at the end, really encapsulating Russia's unique ability to simultaneously be high-brow and chillingly nonchalant about death.

After the drone makes multiple low passes over the battle scene, one good Samaritan pushes through the crowd and makes an incredible shot: He spears the drone in mid-air. We don't know if he was just so in character he thought the drone was a magical abomination or if he was thinking as a reasonable, modern man and knew it was a technological abomination. Regardless, I'm willing to bet he got to see some rough-spun burlap stockings at the end of the evening. Unfortunately, because this was in Russia, odds are he was killed by a pack of wild dogs shortly after.

According to him, he only knew what to do because of a similar event in the 2005 Ice Cube movie Are We There Yet?

That means that at 9 years old, Brendon has already accomplished something more important than anything I will do in my life. Unless, of course, I can keep a generation of kids away from PCP with my Home Alone reboot.

For contrast: I did not go to prom because people kept saying I looked like Rob Thomas and I figured that was probably an insult even though Matchbox 20 was a perfectly fine band. This is why Jimelle is a hero and I am a Cracked writer.

Aaron Kheifets
The face of a young man who spent two minutes trying to tie a real bow tie before settling
for the adjustable pre-tied one.

There are so many reasons for assholes to beat him up: being a designer, being good at anything, describing himself as a "self-taught artist," liking a movie made before six months ago, etc. The list of high school transgressions generated by his actually caring about something is incredibly long, but apparently Jimelle gave a number of fucks that was not invented until the fifth century.

It's a crime video we've seen too many times: A drunk, shirtless man, wearing one busted flip-flop and cursing like a sailor, does something to someone else's car. In this instance, however, the drunk, shirtless man is the hero of our story. James Ross-Munro and his buddy Kane Wiblen were on their way home from a party when they decided to stop at a convenience store for a late-night snack.

When they saw someone inside robbing the store, they did not have time to think (from the state they appear to be in, thinking would have been a 20-minute engagement). Instead, James ran to the idling getaway car as Kane started filming. James takes the keys out of the ignition, disabling the vehicle, and chucks them into the night.

When the robbers come out of the store, the driver quickly realizes he has no choice but to try to escape on foot. The passenger, however, sits in the car long enough for James to actually get in again and start fighting with him, moving him from "good Samaritan" to "working-class Aussie Batman." When the robber in the passenger seat also takes off running (at this point, James is screaming, "f**k you, cunts!"), our Intoxicated Avengers take off after them in busted flip-flops.

In an incredible interview about the ordeal, James even talks in one-liners straight out of a comic.

When he's called a hero, he just says, "It just had to be done: sort out the right from wrong." When asked if he goes to the gym, he responds, "The only gym I go to is Jim Beam." Honestly, give these guys a superhero franchise already.

It's inspiring to know that there are heroes out there in the real world. It reminds us that there are people doing what's right even if it isn't their job or it might be dangerous. Good job, internet. Maybe if we spread these hero stories we can swell their ranks. Or at the very least we can learn how to shame perverts into eating their own microSDs.

Aaron Kheifets is an occasionally mustachioed comedian, writer, and director. You are allowed to follow him on Twitter, watch his videos, and look at his website.

Check out more from Aaron in 4 Things Everyone Remembers Happening (But Totally Didn't) and 4 Things That Were Going To Kill Us All (Until They Didn't).

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