Appropriate Death Penalty
This was almost too easy to concoct. The offenders are placed in an enclosed hallway and chased by the chupacabra monster. (If chupacabra is unavailable, pit bulls will do.) With only one way to go, the offenders run from chupacabra (or pit bulls) until they hit a group of three heavily-padded walkers, impossible to pass. As the chupacabra/dogs close in, and after the offenders shriek with cries for forgiveness, a wall goes up to hold back the chupacabra/pit bulls (but seriously, let's try to go for chupacabra). Then the padded walkers punch the offenders in the back of the head and curb-stomp them to death.
Actually, maybe we do need the pit bulls.
People Who Put Their Money On the Counter Instead of Handing It To a Cashier
Hey, you know that thing that people do called "going to the store and buying stuff with money?" Of course you do. We all do it. Quick question though: Why do so many people do it wrong? Here's how it's supposed to work: You hand your stuff to a cashier; the cashier tells you how much it costs; you give your money to the cashier; and if you give more than the item(s) cost, you get back change. That's it.
Here's what doesn't happen: You don't take out your dollars and coins and lay them down on the counter for the cashier to pick up. Why? Well, for one, why would you do that? Are you really asking? But if you need a better reason, how about it takes more time for you and everyone else in line. Or how about, it's just rude. Maybe you don't mean it, but that gesture implies the cashier is at a lower station. An untouchable. Someone you can't make contact with even indirectly. Think I'm overreacting? Putting money on the counter and waiting for the cashier to take it was actually a practice in the segregated South. Yeah, that's right. I can't find a link to validate that statement, but I saw it in a movie once and wrote it on the Internet so it must be true and now you're Internet Hitler. How's that make you feel? But seriously, it's time-consuming and rude. Just cut it out.
If you put your money on the counter, then this is not a picture of Hitler; it's a magic tiny mirror on your computer screen.
Important Exception: Some cashiers (of every race, color and creed) suck. They don't look at you or pay attention. Or sometimes they go off talking to their buddies while you're trying to pay. The Gladstone exception allows you to put money on the counter if you've gotten it out and the cashier is ignoring you so you don't have to stand there like a jackass with cash in your hand.