Instead, guests Cat Rhinehart (My Super Overactive Imagination) and Jeff May (Day Jobs) do their best to convince me that religion is a thing kids need in their lives. I certainly didn't have much in mine as a kid. My parents both went to Bible colleges, but if they cared anything about the Bible after that it definitely didn't show.
My grandmother was a churchgoer until the end, but she never forced going to church on me. In fact, on the only occasion when I recall having to tag along, she bought me a dinosaur pop-up book so I wouldn't be bored. I was six at the time, so that was a plan I could get behind. However, when we got there, as it turned out, someone was being baptized. For some reason it struck me as mildly terrifying to watch ...
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What's terrifying about this?
... but I had to watch. To this day, my memory of the event involves the entire room being lit with a really dim red light while it was happening, kind of like in an office building when the electricity goes out. That seems highly unlikely, in retrospect, but when I picture it in my mind, that's still exactly how I see it.
From then on, organized religion just wasn't a thing that stuck with me. With so many choices and so many people saying their choice is correct, my instinct was always to just assume everyone was wrong and that I'd have to come to my own conclusions. I accept that this might not work for everybody, though. Sometimes, people need structure and order and discipline in their lives. You need someone to follow. So, because I give zero fucks which book you do or don't believe, you can take it as seriously as any other recommendation when I say that, this season, maybe consider switching to Satan. Here are a few reasons why ...
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