Nerdgasm, foodgasm, shoegasm, TVgasm, ve-gasm? Go to hell-gasm.
(Ve-gasm is like a vegan orgasm, so it doesn't have any dairy and is covered in hemp.)
Allen Morris/iStock/Getty ImagesBeware of any dude offering to give you a hemp necklace.
The only thing that should be attached to "-gasm" is "or-." I'd probably have less of a problem with this if you just said "food orgasm" or "clothing orgasm." That's still gross, but separating out the "gasm" part of "orgasm" is like cutting off one of Scarlett Johansson's feet: You're close to the promised land, but are you really happy with what part you have? (If you're a foot fetishist, you'll have to imagine I said "hand" or something else you don't love up there. Eyebrow. Nostril. These are just suggestions.)
Obviously we all understand that an orgasm is a good and pleasurable thing. So we then understand that a "nerdgasm" would mean a "good and pleasurable NERD thing."
Why does this have to exist? Why can't we just enjoy things a normal amount? Why does everything pleasurable have to mean sex? Can't we enjoy anything without orgasming all over it? Sometimes I want to like things a normal amount that doesn't involve bodily fluid.
Wendy Hope/Stockbyte/Getty Images
"Hey, hon, can you grab me a condom? I wanna watch the new Sherlock."
(Sidebar: Anyone else learn what an orgasm was from reading the back of the When Harry Met Sally VHS and then sussing out what part of the movie they were referring to?)
I think what we need to kill this one is for a singer to record a song called "Literally" that gets the word wrong over and over again.