An unfortunate thing about living that life, however, is knowing all the ways you're falling down. There's no way you can fill both roles, so inevitably you find yourself seeking out that missing piece. That part that will truly make your family "whole" again. You don't just look for a girlfriend; you look for a potential mom. Not consciously, but it's there in the back of your brain like mental poison ivy.
So when you first start dating after becoming a single dad, you find yourself rushing. You want that family puzzle put back together right goddamn now. You don't slow down to really evaluate not just the other person, but both of you as a combined unit. You get so focused on the family, you forget that if you don't work as a couple, you're doing more damage than good. But just as bad, after a couple of failed attempts, you go the opposite direction and start ultra-judging everyone. Like with lasers and shit.
You find yourself turning down wonderful women, because you think they may still have a bit of a wild side. Maybe that's not good for the kids. Or you consider someone who's not a great fit for you, but would be awesome for the kids. You're no longer in a two-person relationship ... you're dating for your entire household. Again, it's not conscious, but it's there. A glimpse of a shadow in the mirror as you brush your teeth. You tell yourself it's not there, but it is. You know it is. And it's coming for you. It's coming ...
Shit, now I scared myself. I want my mom.
Dwayne wants to thank his mom for helping him raise such awesome children, and his three kids for being the most kickass imaginable. Just don't tell any of those four people about his seldom-updated Facebook or Twitter accounts.
For more check out Men With Kids Look Suspicious: 4 Realities Of Dating A Mom and 5 Reasons Why It's Impossible For Dads To Look Cool.
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