What I'm getting at is that once the Internet latches onto something at obsessive levels, they reach the highest levels imaginable, up to and including renting out huge convention spaces to house hundreds (sometimes thousands) of like-minded shoe enthusiasts.

In terms of size, sneaker conventions run the gamut from small gatherings consisting mostly of local sellers in your area to huge blowouts such as Sneaker Con, a massive convention that travels around the country and includes hundreds of vendors. People might not show up in Dominique Wilkins cosplay or anything, but, rest assured, it's every bit as serious as any comic book convention.

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Though this costume is damn sure easier to pull off than whatever fully-working Iron Man bullshit that Comic Con guys do.

Everyone has his or her reasons for going. Most show up to buy, sell, or trade shoes, obviously. Sometimes, it's just to network for their blogs (yep, lots of shoe blogs out there, too). Or, maybe people who might not have hundreds of dollars to throw around go just to get a close-up glimpse at an impossible-to-find pair of sneakers that rarely leave the comfort of their owner's temperature-controlled storage box.

Via Sneakerfreaker.com
Such as this unassuming pair of Air Jordans that cost as much as a new car.

If you think this is a lot of hoopla over sneakers, you're right. People cherish sneakers the way gearheads value a classic car or comic fans value that time Spiderman teamed up with the Incredible Hulk Hogan to save a bus full of Jedis (I don't really fuck with comics, sorry).

But, the biggest draw is the chance to maybe get a pair of sneakers that no one else in your city or state has ever owned or has even seen in person before. If you were wondering what's so stressful about the fact that sneaker conventions exist, there it is. Sometimes, your only option for finding the pair you want is to shell out ticket money for a convention and then just kind of hope someone is selling them at a price you can afford. In fact, let's talk about that next.

If not, enjoy the one above, because that picture is probably as close to actually seeing these shoes as you'll ever get. Not only did they sell out in less than a day online, there were some entire states that never even got them in stores. If you did find them, the owner wouldn't even let you buy them unless you put them on right there on the spot and walked out of the store with them on your feet in some cases. That was a deal breaker for a lot of people, because who the fuck is buying shoes like that just to wear them in public?

Still, no problem, December is right around the corner, and that means the annual Jordan Retro 11 releases are, too. Boom, now you're in Foot Locker, you have your debit card, you have your dreams, and you have ... a raffle ticket? That's right, even when a pair of sneakers appear to be readily available, the deluge of people who descend on any given store sometimes gets so out of hand that they have to take phone numbers from customers, draw those numbers from a hat, and then call the people who "won" so they can come back and make their purchase.

Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images News/Getty Images
All the thrill of winning a contest but without any of that pesky free stuff.

Remember when adult males all across the country lost their shit because some stores didn't have every single item from the recent release of Star Wars action figures in stock? It's the same thing except, in this case, you know it's going to happen every time, and complaining about it would just make you look dumb because it's so incredibly common of an occurrence.

But, hey, at least there's always resellers!

After consistently striking out in your attempt to get the exact pair of basketball shoes you want (sorry for mixing metaphors there), you decide to go for the nuclear option ... you contact a reseller. Ah, the reseller. Depending on who you ask, he is either a selfish sleazeball who somehow managed to get 15 pairs of the shoe you wanted and has marked the price up to some exorbitant amount that makes hedge fund AIDS drugs seem reasonably priced, or he's just a guy who was able to get a couple pairs and wants to sell them to make enough to feed his sick mother. The only person who would ever make the second of those two arguments is the reseller himself, and you should never believe him. But, whatever, you've met now, and it's time to talk price. Honestly, how bad could it really be?

Image Source Pink/Image Source/Getty Images
Wait, gimme a second -- couldn't get to the end of that sentence with a straight face.

Well, let's take those Yeezy Boost 350s as an example. They originally retailed for $200. If you're seeking a pair on the reseller market, be prepared to pay anywhere from $800 on the low end of things and all the way up to $1,250. Granted, every shoe doesn't get that same kind of markup, but it happens more than anyone living paycheck to paycheck would like.

It's not completely hopeless, though. Depending on the popularity of a shoe, if you pay $190 before tax, you can expect to resell it for about $240-270. That's not completely unreasonable, and the abundance of resellers can be a good thing if you missed out on getting the shoes you wanted through more traditional means.

liveslow/iStock/Getty Images
If entering a raffle for the privilege of shelling out $200 could ever be called "traditional."

That said, it still all comes down to supply and demand shit that shoemakers could fix at least a little if they would just spread the wealth around a bit. What I said previously about some areas not getting some shoes in stores at all never applies to places such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston. Those are big markets with a lot of potential customers, and it's those areas that allow the reseller market to thrive the way it does currently. Sure, there are lots of reputable resellers in existence, but, even then, it might not help because ...

So, fine, maybe you can't afford to wear a pair of rare Jordans; it's not like those are the only shoes people wear. How about a pair of Foamposites, instead? A pair of Nike Air Foamposite One ParaNormans (yes, like the movie) will set you back a mere $3,250. A small price to pay when you consider that they glow in the goddamn dark.

Speaking of movie shoes, if you're a Back To The Future fan and still have your heart set on owning a pair of "Marty McFlys" (science calls them Nike Air Mags), I have the worst news possible. They were only released on EBay as part of a charity auction, making the resale value more than you can even probably afford to read about. Case in point: British rapper Tinie Tempah paid $37,500 for his. You could probably build a working hoverboard for less.

Via Sneakerfiles.com
Whether they stick to the movie and announce "Your bank account is now dry!" is unclear, but you've gotta assume.

You know what? Maybe you should think less about the future and look for something retro, instead. Except, if you do, you'll be surprised to learn that ...

Back when Nike engaged in the questionable business practice of "Making enough of a popular product to fill demand."

Nike has re-released that shoe several times over the years, but, a few years back, they released a "banned" version. And, boy, will they set you back some cash. How are they different from all of the other versions that have hit shelves over the years? This ...

Via Undergroundsoles.com
Don't blink, or else you'll miss it.

That's all. There's an "X" where the Jumpman would normally be. No other changes whatsoever. That one design change, though, means that on the resale market, you'll pay anywhere from $600-900, compared to just $300 for any other version.

Weirdly enough, paying that kind of money because of a stupid "X" is borderline blasphemy to a true Jordan purist. For them, the only shoes that matter are the Jordan 1s to Jordan 13s. Why? Because he didn't actually play in any of his signature shoes past those. Everything since has just been another way for a man who wants all the money (he once successfully sued a grocery store for $8.9 million for putting his jersey on a flyer promoting a sale on steaks) to come closer to achieving that dream. But, just like having Amazing Fantasy issue #1 and Ultimate Spiderman #1 isn't the same, neither is having a pair of Jordan Flights and a pair of Retro 7s. They might look identical, but one holds memories of Jordan in the playoffs and breaking records, while the other is just a cash grab to catch ignorant mothers off guard.

That might seem like a minor detail to you, but, for a sneakerhead, it makes all the difference in the world.

Jawn doesn't read comments so send your hate mail on Twitter @JawnLouis.

You can get shot over a pair of sneakers. See how a pair of Jordans turned a shopping center into an episode of "The Wire" in 4 People Who Went Insane Waiting In Line To Buy Stuff, and take a look at a pair of Reeboks you have to buy based on the name alone in The 8 Most Ill-Conceived Product Names Of All Time.

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