Back in the '90s, Kellyanne Fitzpatrick (her old name) apparently performed a stand-up set at a charity benefit in a room filled with Washington insiders. To her credit, this appears to be original material, but it's so schlocky that it makes you question if she had ever heard a joke before. This isn't "Hey, it's my first time, give me a break" -- this is "I saw an episode of Jay Leno and this s**t looks easy." For example, she explains her leg cast by saying "Well, everyone knew I was gonna be in this comedy show and said break a leg, so I did." Or this zinger: "New survey's out that says 70 percent of men think about sex all the time. The other 30 percent are lying." Hold for applause.
Somehow it gets worse. It's obvious after about eight minutes that this isn't going anywhere, but she pushes through to her closer anyway: a song about the perils of being a female political "pundette," complete with boa scarf and Santa Baby voice. No one laughs except the time traveler who already knows we're all fucked.