Now, last year I drank bourbon and fell asleep at 10:45 in the middle of The Return of the King. My body expected some kind of frustration and shut down out of self-preservation. In the years before that, I'd always had multiple friends who were throwing their own separate New Year's Eve parties, along with friends who had asked me to at least try and meet them at a bar at certain points in the night. And because I'm a good, supportive friend who desperately seeks momentary approval, I promised to try. Oh, the folly of me.
I looked up images for "goodbye" and this is what I got. Easy, internet. I'm not trying to hurt you.
Unlike the days surrounding Christmas that fall into the "Appropriate Christmas Party Date Radius," you only get one day for New Year's. If you celebrate on December 30th, it's just a gathering of people who are really optimistic about their chances of not getting hangovers. If you send out a bunch of invites for January 1st, then I'm sure that you were a pleasure to work with on school projects. If you set it too early in the evening, you're gonna get a bunch of people who leave your place for the party that started at 9 PM. And if you start it too late, you're going to either get the sloppy end of someone's night out, or no one at all. Because the last thing I want to do when I'm seven glasses of champagne deep is find another couch at a totally different house.
"So, we go from this couch to ... another couch? You're not selling me on this concept."