Being so bad eventually made me reprioritize my expectations. Am I playing because I want to be good, to get the proverbial high score on the leaderboard? Or do I just want to sit on the couch, absentmindedly popping enemy heads with a shotgun so their brain matter explodes like meat fireworks, lulling me into a state of utmost relaxation? After deep contemplative thought, I realized it was the relaxing brain matter thing. All I wanted out of this was something interactive that doesn't let my thoughts wander without incurring some kind of consequence. I can't bounce as easily from a game to my Twitter feed when I've got the blood of my enemies acting as the elixir that distracts me from the stresses of the world.
Deciding to play some games on "Easy" was one of the best choices I've ever made. Sometimes I just want to go through the motions. I don't want how shitty I am at this to exclude me from experiencing something I want to get lost within. And that's ultimately what I'm looking for: a fictional world to become swept up in that can make the stresses of life fall away. It's comforting to know there's one little pocket of life where I can turn frantic bad guy killing sprees into a light and jaunty murderer strolls.