You don't even have to be that aggressive in challenging the questioner. No need to leap on the podium and flex. Simply saying "That's a loaded question" or "You're trying to trick me," even if that's bullshit, forces them to defend their question. And it distracts anyone listening. They're now much more likely to remember that you two had an argument, rather than that you avoided answering a question.
Speaking of distractions ...
Jump On The Podium And Flex
There's no audience alive that prefers the sound of boring words to the sight of great deeds being done. If a question stumps you, then lift something over your head like a strongman and break it over your knee.
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Then hit the ground, clutching your leg.
Reduce a chair to splinters, tear down some curtains, hurl great oaths at the sky. Light a fire. Make animals fuck. Sure, this might make you look a little unhinged and not quite like the sober statesman you want to appear to be. But that can be preferable to looking evasive or untrustworthy. And few will remember even that after seeing two sheep make such tender love.
"This court finds that a beautiful act, and the defendant to be Rad as Shit."
Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE? His first novel, Severance, is incredible and available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apex Books. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.
Politics 101 is avoiding difficult questions. Politics 102 is stealing Jimmy Carter's debate notes and trouncing him with them, like Ronald Reagan did in 5 Insane Strategies That Won Elections (And Changed History). Was it worth it, though? Being president means getting the worst hazing of your life, as seen in 15 Things They Don't Tell You About Being President.
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