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They're More Addicted To Their Phones Than Young People

Older people showing disdain for the technology of the young is a tradition that probably goes back to the Stone Age. ("A real man would remove the animal's scrotum with his teeth, not some fancy flint blade!") Today, the complaint baby boomers make is that these damn kids won't get off their phones, with their main point being "How can people enjoy and live a fulfilling life when, ummm, phones!?"

But this is kind of a pot and cellular kettle situation, because according to a Nielsen global survey, millennials and Gen Y'ers aren't the ones who need to close their Facebook app at dinner. Studies show boomers are most likely to be distracted by their phones during meals. After all, how else will they be able to keep up with the latest op-eds explaining why millennials are ruining America? How will they share their Qanon memes?

And unfortunately for those of us who value public safety and not dying in an inferno, old people having smartphones is ruining a lot more than suppers. Boomers are starting to use their phones behind the wheel, and a study in Australia found it affects their driving far more, and makes them more likely to have serious accidents than other drivers. You can lip-sync for TikTok when you get home, grandma!

Related: 13 Myths About Society Too Many People Believe

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They're Cheating In Relationships More

For the last few years, we've been bombarded with hot takes about how stuff like Tinder and the dreaded specter of "hookup culture" are killing romance. But maybe we shouldn't point fingers at young people having consenting noncommittal relationships, and instead check out the 20 percent of people over the age of 55 who've reported having extramarital affairs. For comparison, among those under the age of 37, only 12 percent reported cheating.

But why is it happening? Did they watch Don Draper in Mad Men and think, "Well, I'm not THAT much older than Jon Hamm"? Some suspect that it's due to the proliferation of the internet giving them more ways to cheat. Some say it's because on average, people are waiting later to get married, and so they're less likely to feel resentment toward a partner they rushed into things with.

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They're Becoming Increasingly Isolated

Shows like Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are massively popular and all about older women being friends, making quips, and apparently living in a universe where Social Security is off the charts. So who's to say that something like that can't happen in real life? Well, real life.

A study of behavior among various age groups in the United States reveals that "55-to-64-year-olds just about to join the ranks of the elderly are far less socially engaged now than their predecessors were at the same age 20 years ago." That's a really nice way to say that old people are lonely.

They spend less time with neighbors, less time participating in the community, and less time at church. And compared to earlier generations, today's older people are even having fewer quality interactions with their spouses, though the bit about cheating might help explain that one.

There are a few hypotheses about this. Are they working longer hours? Is it that dang social media? Or is it because many of them broke from their own familial traditions when they were younger, and they're now paying the price for not following in the footsteps of the Super Boomers, or whatever we're supposed to call the generation before them?

Whatever the reason, it does not sound like fun. So the next time a 70-year-old comments on your Facebook status to tell you to "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop being so sensitive!" what he's really saying is, "Well, statistically, my entire demographic is miserable."

Joe Oliveto also writes collections of scary stories and urban legends that you can and should buy.

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