Q: What's that smell?

As the MoPeSo has been established in an abandoned Denny's, certain odors are just going to be a part of communal living. When the founding fathers and mothers and non-biological parental units established this squat, the smells bothered them as well. But the symbolic beauty of establishing a MoPeSo in the husk of a failed capitalist enterprise was too rich to ignore.

Also, you stop noticing them after a time.

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That greasy feeling is pretty much omnipresent, though.

There are a lot of them, like way, way too many of them, but we still have to ration them carefully. Which means we certainly can't just give them away to people who stop by thinking this is still a Denny's.

And no, Dale, because we know it's fucking you who's going to suggest it, we cannot just sell the food either. That is exactly the kind of thing the Founding Fathers and Mothers And Nonbiological Parental Figures of this MoPeSo stood against! Yes, many of them were forced to stand against it because they were hilariously unemployable, but to blame them for that situation is blasphemy! We're here to move beyond that kind of hollow capitalistic system, to a better world where all things are shared equally, and people respect each other, and no one makes fun of anyone on the street for smelling like eggs.

Yes, this has been rumored for a while, and there's no sense trying to deny it any longer.

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There's no room for you in this anti-capitalist collective anymore.

No one wanted it to come to this. But ever since those Buddhists began squatting in and then relaunching that abandoned IHOP on the other side of the highway, we've seen traffic steadily decrease. Also, according to our Capitalist Dog Feedback Surveys, many of our capitalist dogs are uncomfortable eating in a restaurant in which half the staff are walking around shirtless, playing the guitar, or trying to repair an old radio.

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Many also left comments relating to odor.

In order for Denny's #23781 and this MoPeSo to survive, well, there's just going to have to be a lot less of us. No Denny's can realistically have 85 employee-citizens, and by cutting our ranks a bit, we'll boost our margins significantly.

And we might finally do something about that smell.

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Dale.

Chris Bucholz is a Cracked columnist and has been asked to leave dozens of different communes. His first novel, Severance, is incredible and available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Apex Books. Join him on Facebook or Twitter.

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