Well, in a shocking revelation about a product that frequently comes in boxes so hobos can get blackout drunk to forget their lives, resveratrol isn't quite what your alcoholic aunt hyped it up to be. In a 16-year study conducted in one of Italy's wine regions (because, to our surprise, Italy has non-wine regions) researchers found that resveratrol levels "do not show any apparent protective association with disease and markers of disease in humans and are not associated with lifespan." They also said a lot of big words and weird math things that we're too dumb to understand, but their conclusion is about as clear as you can get. You'd have as much luck trying to prevent heart disease with a nightly glass of red wine as you would with a nightly bowl of Bugles drenched in butterscotch.
Or just a Mason jar full of butterscotch.
Red wine in small quantities does still have some health benefits, but it's not a magical heart elixir that you can pair with your Kraft mac and cheese to eliminate the downsides of eating Kraft mac and cheese. And "small quantities" is the key phrase there. You can't substitute your nightly jog with two bottles of wine and a cheese plate and expect to live to a ripe old age. Although at a certain point you have to start questioning quantity versus quality.