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Helmetless Biker Dies From A Head Injury During An Anti-Helmet Ride

I will never understand why helmet laws are a divisive issue among motorcycle enthusiasts. As sweet as their rides are, bikers themselves almost inevitably look ridiculous by default regardless of whether they go with the Halloween costume style, all-out Hell 'n' leather look, or the riding suit that makes you look like a grown-ass baby. Often, a cool helmet is the sole saving grace of their look, let alone their life if something happens.

Yet, there's a biker subset who just wants to feel the wind in their hair, cranial safety be damned. One of the more vocal groups championing the issue is American Bikers Aimed Toward Education (Geddit? Because it spells ABATE?), who actively lobby for "motorcycle awareness and freedom." In July 2011, they decided to organize a 550-strong ride in order to combat the state of New York's ridiculous mandatory helmet use laws. They certainly succeeded in this demonstration. Only, the message was pretty much the exact opposite of what they intended.

ponce_photography/Pixabay Shit no I won't show you the actual aftermath. Use this for reference.

And so it came to be that during the ride, participant Philip A. Contos hit his brakes, his bike fishtailed, and over the handlebars of his Harley he went. Two guesses as to whether he was wearing a helmet, or what part of him hit the pavement first. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Tragic as it is, what really makes this story for me is the utter, resigned lack of surprise by all parties. The medical professional who pronounced Contos dead proceeded to immediately point out that the biker, "Would've no doubt survived the accident had he been wearing a helmet." And the state trooper addressing the incident made a point of quoting that statement. Shit, even ABATE seemed like it was pretty much expecting something like this to occur. Here's a statement from Contos' chapter president: "ABATE is very saddened and still shocked about the fact that we've lost another rider in Philip and that our hearts go out to him and our prayers as well."

WinnerMotors/Pixabay "... But anyway, don't wear helmets. They're super lame."

3

The Relatives Of Trump-Supporting Syrians Get Deported By Trump

Yeah yeah, I know. That fucking guy again. I'll keep this short and simple so we can move on to better things, OK?

The Assali family saw much good in Donald Trump. He promised a safe America. They certainly wanted a safe America. So they supported the billionaire's path to the presidency, and once he was in, it was time to make things secure. When you read it like that and ignore, well, everything else, it almost makes sense, right?

It's just that the Assalis hadn't quite figured out who the new administration was hellbent on keeping America safe for -- and more importantly, from. They found this out the hardest possible way in the final days of January 2017, when Trump cranked out his infamous executive order on immigration. Because the Assalis happened to be from Syria. And had family coming in.

GoFundMe"Wait, a what-xecutive order now?"

According to the crowdfunding page set out to help their ongoing legal battle, the Syrian side of the Assali family had been trying to get visas since fucking 2003, and finally managed to obtain them in late 2016. Yeah, that's what people often forget about these guys -- that process can take well over a damn decade. Pooling together their funds, they decided to have one last Christmas with their loved ones in Syria before rejoining with the American side of the family at long last. Then, in late January, they finally embarked on the trip - - only for Trump to swoop in with his buzzsaw-having-a-stroke signature at the literal last minute.

At the airport, the arriving family was taken to the side. Their visas were insta-cancelled, and they were shoved on a flight to Qatar. Once in Qatar, they were rudely shown the door and forced to make their way back to Damascus. No phone calls, no rights, no translators, no explanation, nothing. Just as giant a middle finger as a certain tiny, grubby orange paw is able to give. Thanks for the support, guys!

Mario Tama/Getty Images "Hope you've enjoyed your Trump America experience! I'm told it is the best experience."

2

A Large Hacking Forum Gets Hacked

In 2016, Techspot reported a peculiar occurrence on the Nulled.IO board, one of the world's largest hacking forums: It had been hacked. The board is used to trade and sell credit card/leaked identity information and assorted tools of the trade. Yet on May 6, a 9.45 GB SQL file's worth of personal details of the site's users themselves were dumped online. Which, you'll note, can be a bit of a problem when you're a cyber-criminal preferring to remain anonymous.

PeteLinforth/Pixabay "Not that I don't appreciate the irony, but fucking ouch."

And, really, the ingredients were there. Risk Based Security, who found the breach, noted that Nulled.IO had been using the IP.Board community forum, which has many known vulnerabilities. But there's also another, social layer to why the forum probably should have seen it coming. According to John Cheese, Cracked's resident expert on online forum chicanery, there's two ways this could have played out. Every forum, especially the large ones, eventually reaches a point in its history where it has a "fracture" moment. You've probably experienced those in some of your favorite online haunts yourself. One person pisses off another, people start taking sides, a small war breaks out, and soon the virtual air is thick with virtual turds flying in every direction. Eventually, there'll be a walkout in which a bunch of people leave the community, likely starting a spin-off of their own so they can all stay in touch and remain as awful as they want to be.

It's just something that happens often with big online communities. MMO guilds do it all the time. Bring the added ammunition of hacking ability in the mix, and man, of course something like this was bound to happen. Alternately, even if it wasn't because of a community fracture, hackers thrive on challenge. Eventually, someone is just going to get bored and think, "I wonder if I can hack the actual hacker site?" Which, evidently, they could.

1

A Man Gets Murdered By A Guy With A Massive "Murder" Neck Tattoo

In November 2011, the body of Damon Galyardt was found in a ditch in Barton County, Kansas. Strangely, his shooting would go unsolved until 2015. Goddammit, that was a depressing start for an entry. Quick, think about Labrador puppies! As a palate cleanser.