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Lying About Climbing Everest Gets You A Countrywide Climbing Ban

Are you the kind of person who lists "climbing Mount Everest" as a life goal? That is adorable. Did you know it costs $11,000 to get the permits to do that? It's true. And you also have to follow some strict mountaineering rules, or the government of Nepal will run hog wild on you and ban you from every mountain in the country for an entire goddamned decade. These strict rules include "Don't lie about climbing Mt. Everest."

Of course, lots of these bans are based on safety or skirting fees and permits. A Polish climber received a ten-year ban for not getting the correct permit first. (He'd ascended the peak on the Chinese side and had a Chinese permit, but got sick of the view over there and came down the Nepali side. Or, you know, he was running short on oxygen and hoped to find help in Nepal.) Another climber from South Africa got banned for trying to sneak up the mountain with no permit at all, and also no experience climbing mountains. Two climbers got banned because they had a permit that only permitted climbing and not skiing, and yet they decided to ski instead of climb at one point. That kind of thing.

But then you've got the Indian couple who were banned for faking their climb. The pair, who are also police officers, doctored photos of someone else's climb to make it look like they reached the peak, and the Nepalese government went full Yeti by tossing the same ten-year ban at them that everyone else gets. Keep in mind, these people did pay the $11,000 for permits and actually did climb the mountain, just not all the way. The reason seems to be reputation-based. Climbing Everest is some important, inspirational shit, and you can't have just anyone posting it on their LinkedIn profile.

Related: 6 Things You Won't Believe Got Banned From Modern Countries

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You Can Get Banned From All City Properties For Complaining Too Much

It's one thing to get banned from a Chuck E. Cheese for a drunken act you don't even remember until you see the video go viral the next day, but what does it take to get banned by a city government? Is that even a thing? Apparently, because it's what Statham, Georgia is doing to Catherine Corkren, on the charge of being incredibly annoying.

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If You Screw With A National Park, You'll Get Banned From 20 Percent Of The USA

Do you take advantage of national parks very often? They're pretty majestic. Great Smoky Mountains National Park, with its great, smoky mountains. Rocky Mountain National Park, with its rocky mountains. Jellystone with its plentiful pic-a-nic baskets. Be a shame if someone shit all over those places with rampant graffiti, huh?

Back in 2016, some nature enthusiasts began to take notice of unwanted artwork in a number of national parks across the country. Someone had been using acrylic paint to tag rocks in places like Death Valley, Crater Lake, and Canyonlands, Land of the Canyons. The artist was Casey Nocket, and she basically sucked on a structural level. She sucked so much that other people who had seen her art went online and managed to track her down. That's a thing you can do to someone who is dumb enough to sign their graffiti, as Nocket had.

Redditors found Nocket's Instagram, which detailed more images, along with her admission that she was a bad person. She was reported to the National Park Service, which then banned her from every national park in the country. That ban covers any land under the National Park Service, the Forest Service, and other agencies, which works out to some 550 million acres. That's literally a fifth of the land mass of the USA that this woman is no longer allowed to enter. That's like being banned from an entire region of the country. Imagine being such a dick that the government just tells you, "Yeah, you're not allowed back in the Midwest. Ever."

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