Before you start howling, please note that I'm not talking about candy made from actual chocolate. Anything coated in real chocolate at least deserves a spot in the bag, even if Junior Mints can suck a dick (hopefully one as unappetizing as they are). No, what I'm talking about is chocolate-flavored candy. For example, remember when Skittles tried to go chocolate a few years ago?
Hopefully not, because if you do, that means you probably tried them, and I wouldn't wish something that disgusting on anyone. Personally, I think it's a matter of texture. With some candy, when you bite into it, you're just expecting fruit. Case in point: Why are there no chocolate Starburst? Because gross. That's why.
But the most heinous entry into the "candy that shouldn't taste like chocolate but does anyway" market has to be chocolate-flavored Candy Corn.
Pictured: Everything that's wrong with the candy industry.
Who even thinks of that trash as candy? Adding "real cocoa and milk" to the recipe is like putting frosting on fruitcake. Despite the added flourish, it's still something only crazy people eat.
And that's exactly what makes chocolate-flavored candy so terrifying ... someone must be eating this stuff. Corporate America would not spend the cash if there wasn't a market for it. So who are these complete and total fucking weirdos walking among us, silently craving the taste of the only "candy" named after a vegetable? What nameless, faceless secret society is influencing market research to such a degree that Chocolate Skittles shows up on store shelves? Who in the hell is eating chocolate Tootsie Pops?
Serial killer food.