Slightly more terrifying that a Pepto obsidian squirt is the phantom white shit you'll get if you have to endure a barium sulfate shake at the hospital. Barium sulfate is typically used when you have to have an x-ray or CT scan and the doctors want to see what's going on in your guts. The barium goes in, coats your insides, and helps scans pick up any areas of concern. They'll mix it into a shake or somesuch that you need to ingest an hour or two before the actual scan, and then you're good to go. Unfortunately for some, as the barium is excreted out the back door, it has a tendency to go all White Walker in your intestines and suck the soul out of your otherwise-healthy poop, leaving it a pale, terrifying husk of a white monstrosity that you'll probably stare at with an arched eyebrow for a moment or two before really hitting that flush handle hard.
Specific Teas Can Make Your Urine Smell Delicious
Being the mature individual that you are, you'll probably have no interest in my bathroom musings. You might want to just brew up a hot cup of herbal tea and sit down and read the serious work of a serious journalist who would never point out that your just made your piss hole into a goddamn waffle house. In your face, serious journalism fan!
You may have encountered maple syrup urine disease in your travels -- a condition characterized by the intense need to piss all over an IHOP. Wait, no, that was something else. But the disease does make your pee smell like delicious (but not delicious) maple syrup. So it's probably a little disconcerting if you happen to smell that when you're letting loose in between binged episodes of Ozark.
Turns out the genetic disease isn't the only cause of the smell, however, as Fenugreek tea also seems to have a similar effect on your plumbing. Fucking a maple tree will possibly do it too, but I haven't heard back from the intern I sent out on that test run. In any event, if you start smelling like you've been using flapjacks as a dick bib, just try to recall your tea-drinking habits before you get too bent out of shape over it. There are other things to worry about when it comes to the dangle of your wangle, anyway.
While stanky pee is obviously a point of concern, you're probably also going to be taken aback should the day arrive when your splendid golden nectar starts sputtering out like a bloody rainbow sprinkler attachment. I distinctly remember a day in my first apartment when I had realized groceries were a thing you needed to actively go out and buy if you wanted a variety of food in your house, and thus I was forced to raid my cupboards in desperation for whatever I had handy. My aunt, who was almost raised by humans, had brought over a number of arguably edible substances as a housewarming gift, and that was the story behind the ten cans of beets in my pantry.
So I ate beets. I ate four cans of beets. And later that day, my piss came out so red that I briefly considered the possibility I had contracted Ebola at some point earlier in the week. It was like the Kool-Aid man was pranking me by standing behind me and pissing just between my legs. I'd never seen anything like it. And slightly worse was that I really had to piss, so I had to stand there and finish for what seemed like an impossibly long time as this crimson deluge raged forth, hoping to god I didn't pass out from blood loss and end up unconscious in the bathroom covered in blood piss.