Nothing in the world has more bullshit home remedies than hiccups. You'd think people would spend more time trying to figure out if lemon and honey cures cancer, but they don't. Instead they let you know that breathing into a paper bag on your head while drinking water with a Hot Pocket in your ass will probably fix those hiccups right up. Also, it never works, so instead of just being annoyed by hiccups, you get annoyed by hiccups and the ridiculous ways people try to fix them. But the fact that there are so many ways to try to fix them speaks to just how much people hate them. They'll try 101 ridiculous things to make them go away because hiccups are the biological function equivalent of that guy who smears s**t on the walls in a public restroom. They're just so awful.
You've done good work in here, Stinky.
No one has control over hiccups, which is why it's kind of s****y to be so frustrated by them. I get hiccups and I piss myself off; it makes no sense. I assume it's the repetitiveness of it that is so off-putting, like when you're a kid in school and that little f**k who sits next to you keeps poking you because his mom drinks a lot and his dad is never there and he thinks this kind of s**t is kosher and it's not like it hurts, it's just that eventually you have to stab him with your pencil so he understands his place in the natural order of things.