Clearly, the world loves McDonald's. Maybe you hate McDonald's, but I honestly don't believe you hate it. I believe, maybe, you don't want to eat there for health reasons, but you probably love the way their shit tastes. Taste that shit. It's delicious. McDonald's fries are just really fucking good. And I know Big Macs could kill me, but I also know that they probably won't, and that's all the reason I need to eat those delicious goddamn burgers. And I am not alone, because I don't have $30 billion a year to spend on Big Macs, so obviously other people are eating there, too.
Example 3: The Kardashians
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Remember when Kim Kardashian's ass broke the internet? Yeah, no. Someone should have let Paper magazine, the periodical for all your wallpapering needs, know that there are so many asses already on the Internet, and they're doing way more exotic things than Kim's greased-up heinie did. But that aside, that asinine ass moment caused one hell of a ruckus, as people all over Hell's half acre started to go on and on (again) about how shitty or useless or slutty or pathetic or ugly or lame Kim Kardashian is. Why? That's how the Kardashians affect people.
In Kim's defense, having an ass doesn't make her a slut, because most of us seem to have asses, and we're getting by alright. If the picture was of her with her ass jammed pull of bananas and butt plugs as it gasped and puckered like an insatiable sarlacc, then maybe the slut label would have more merit. And I'm also just going to toss this out there: that's a pretty awesome ass. Like, I get angry looking at that ass, because Kanye West is clearly a dick face and he gets to draw faces on that ass or put nickels in it for fun or whatever, and I feel left out. I'd do literally everything with Kim Kardashian's ass. And the rest of her. This is becoming way more sexist than I'd planned.
As for the Kardashians themselves, they've had a stupid popular show on TV for a decade now (Stupid can be used in both ways. Just because I'm defending them doesn't mean I don't think their sucky show doesn't suck. It fucking sucks). In fact, Keeping Up with the Kardashians routinely pulls in three to four million viewers an episode, and that's like three times what Mulaney pulls in. Mulaney!
Example 4: Twilight
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