Maybe you've heard of it?
Let me tell you, it worked like a charm. When I was boozing I never had to worry about freaking out, so I started drinking more often. Panic attacks don't just come at night, so I started drinking in the morning. As my system got used to it, I had to drink larger amounts to get the calming effect I was desperate for. Then once my body got addicted I could basically never be sober, since anxiety is a side effect of withdrawal. This is the "just the tip" method of nature trying to fuck you ... and succeeding.
I spent almost 10 years self-medicating with alcohol. In order to keep my brain from thinking it was dying all the time, I ended up bringing myself actually close to death twice. I went to rehab here and there and managed to stay sober for short periods of time, but every time I relapsed it was because I had a panic attack. This is nature convincing you it doesn't need a condom because, "You're my first, so I don't have any diseases. I promise I'll pull out way before it's time."
Of course, when you are that drunk all the time it is hard to hold down a traditional job and you certainly can't drive anywhere. So I started spending more and more time in my house. My husband ran all the errands. As I spent less time outside, I started to actually fear it. Soon, leaving the house meant a guaranteed panic attack, so I just stopped going anywhere. For the better part of a year my panic-induced agoraphobia meant I was under self-imposed house arrest. When you have that much in common with Lindsay Lohan, it's time to make a change.
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Puppy dog eyes be damned.
Thankfully, I am now four months sober, and at the very least I leave the house every day to take my dog for a walk. So for everyone out there who also suffers from what can be such a debilitating condition, know that it can get better. And if you are lucky enough to have no idea what I've been talking about this whole time, at least don't call us crazy, or we might be tempted to prove you right.
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Despite being terrified of death, Kathy wrote a very funny book called FUNERALS TO DIE FOR, and you can buy it here. Or follow her on Facebook, Tumblr, and Twitter.
Many people smoke pot to treat their anxiety, but it turns out that can actually worsen panic attacks. See why in 5 Pro-Marijuana Arguments That Aren't Helping, and if you have social anxiety, see why one potential way to turn it around is to convince people you're outgoing. Check out the science in 6 Scientific Solutions To Your Crippling Social Anxiety.
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