5 Terrifying Things Movies Don't Tell You About Los Angeles
I've recently been relocated to Los Angeles, and I thought that I was ready for it. I thought I'd been prepared for the worst, most surreal aspects of Tinseltown, because I've seen more movies about L.A. than I have Two Heads Share the Same Body Odd Couple Comedies (and I fucking love 2HSSBOCCs! Thing With Two Heads, represent). That's not arrogance unique to Los Angeles: Every city has their special little traits that we associate with them. I know that in New York I'll get bitchin' pizzas and fat cabbies spitting into my mouth; I know that in New Orleans I'll get jazz funerals and see some drugged titties; and I know that in Baltimore I'll get raped by a longshoreman. So I figured that in L.A., I'd be annoyed by the enthusiastic cokeheads, phonies and traffic. And I am, but I wasn't at all prepared for ...
The Dystopian Advertising
Retroactive Entitlement
The Teeth
The Headshots
Beer Costs Like $9 Here
You can buy Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead, or follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Or you could argue that I'm being unfair, that you live in Los Angeles and have a fantastic work ethic, but that sounds hard: Don't you have people to do that for you?
For more from Robert, check out The 5 Most Badass Things You Could Actually Ride to Work and The 5 Most Badass Things Ever Done By Jungle Cats.