5 Surprisingly Poignant Scenes In Cheesy Action Movies

5

In Surviving The Game, Gary Busey Delivers A Powerful, Traumatic Monologue

Nowadays, if someone mentions the 1994 Ice-T action movie Surviving The Game, they're either confusing it for Hard Target (essentially the same movie with Jean-Claude Van Damme) or they're an academic desperately trudging through every adaptation of The Most Dangerous Game for their Criterion Collection essay. But I have, against all odds, invented a third category. I want you to know about Gary Busey's three-minute "Prince Henry Stout" soliloquy.

Right now you might be imagining a wide-eyed Busey screaming every word while saying "Yee-haw" at least 17 times. However, in 1994, Busey hadn't yet succumbed to addiction and behavioral swings that stemmed from a traumatic motorcycle accident he survived in 1988. Before his days of annoying people on reality television shows (who shittily mocked his mental state), he was an accomplished character actor who was nominated for an Academy Award in 1979 and appeared in movies like Lethal Weapon, Under Siege, Predator 2, and The Firm. Busey is Memorable Supporting Actor Royalty.

4

In The Rock, A Michael Bay Supporting Character Actually Feels Like a Real Person

Modern Michael Bay films are loaded with an insane amount of confusing action, wanton destruction, and broad emotional beats that usually boil down to "Bummed that the bad guy isn't dead yet" and "Elated that the bad guy is finally dead." That's why Bay's 1996 film The Rock feels like a straight-up masterpiece in comparison. Coherent direction! Characters who suffer from occasional inner turmoil! It's like a real movie, y'all.

The Rock focuses on rogue general Francis Hummel and his compatriots taking over Alcatraz and holding 81 tourists hostage for $100 million. If the ransom isn't paid, they threaten to unleash rockets loaded with deadly nerve gas on San Francisco. Since it's an R-rated action film directed by Michael Bay, things go sideways for Hummel and his mercenaries, as they are forced to deal with Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery. And when Hummel realizes the government has called his bluff (he never planned on using the missiles), his loose cannon henchmen realize they won't be receiving the money he promised.

The ensuing argument between the "good bad guys" (Hummel and his second-in-command, Major Baxter) and the "bad bad guys" (Captain Darrow and Captain Frye) leads to a Leone-esque standoff. Sergeant Crisp (Bokeem Woodbine), who has been with Hummel since Desert Storm, stands out. He's clearly annoyed he won't be getting any money, but he also doesn't want to kill civilians or hurt his mentor.

3

In Masters Of The Universe, Skeletor Muses On Loneliness

Masters Of The Universe is a nostalgia-filled guilty pleasure that tells the story of Dolph Lundgren's He-Man battling a deadly skeleton on a planet called Eternia. It didn't have a lot of power at the box office, but it features an "all-time great cinematic villain" performance by Oscar-nominated actor Frank Langella. Remember Frost/Nixon? That dude was once Skeletor.

Despite being covered in heavy prosthetics, Langella believably fused Shakespearean hubris and childish bratitude to create a Skeletor who is more watchable than any other aspect of the movie. Langella worked closely with the director to create a worthy villain who says things like "Hmmm, a curious quartet" and "Madness! I demand of destitution, shame, and loneliness of scorn. It is my destiny! It is my right! Nothing will deter me from it!" Normally this kind of villain in this kind of movie wouldn't be allowed to wax poetically, and would mostly just scream about opening a portal until Thor dropkicks him into one.

And that makes his now-famous line all the better. During the climax of the movie, a gold-clad Skeletor has He-Man captured, and he starts chastising him because his friends aren't there to save him. Then he drops this Macbeth-ian nugget: "Where are they? Where are your friends now? Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?"

2

In The Mummy Returns, The Antagonist Is Allowed A Heartbreaking Death

Despite pulling in a gargantuan $423 million worldwide, The Mummy Returns is mainly remembered for slapping Dwayne Johnson onto a terrible CGI scorpion. It's a true "hold my beer" moment of rushed special effects that overshadows the excellent acting that happens after action star Brendan Fraser is allowed to murder action star the Rock (That might be the most 2001 sentence ever). The temple they're in starts collapsing, and a fissure leading to the Underworld separates Rick and final boss bad guy Imhotep from their partners, Evelyn and Anck Su Namun, respectively. After an ill-fated leap, Rick and Imhotep find themselves hanging on for dear life as damned souls try to drag them to Hell, or whatever the equivalent of Hell is in this series' mythology.

1

In Punisher: War Zone, Two Insane Brothers Bond While Breaking Mirrors

Lexi Alexander's Punisher: War Zone is a "see it to believe it" spectacle that focuses on a burly man named Frank Castle killing the absolute ever-living shit out of criminals, parkour enthusiasts, and cannibals. Throughout his bloody revenge tale, he obliterates the lair of a good-looking criminal named Billy "The Beaut" Rusotti, a man who loves looking at mirrors. Because he is so damn beautiful, see?