The first thing you need to embrace when it comes to spicing up your love life is the fact that the word "spice" has more than one meaning. In the case of your sex life, it's not actual fucking spice. I can't stress this enough. The good folks at Shape.com need to know this. You can't sprinkle saffron and garlic on your dick and expect a sexual awakening. And in this vein, when they offer the advice that maybe you and your partner should hit up an Indian restaurant so that the spices can add some pep to your step, keep in mind that Indian food is infamous for causing diarrhea and farts so wicked you can actually see them creeping up your thigh like the poltergeist of a terribly wronged turd, eager to taste life again.
I'm not going to make this about diarrhea-sex-shaming. If that's your thing, you fuck all the squirty poo you can handle, ya big shooter, you. What I'm saying is that for the layman out there who likes a little tickle of the taint and some deep soulful kissing every so often, maybe including stomach cramps and mucous-membrane-scorching gas in the mix is a little bit niche.
The article recommends the spicier the better, before suggesting that ginseng and saffron have been shown to enhance boudoir performance. We'll ignore the fact that ginseng is not an Indian spice, and that saffron has probably never been referred to as "spicy" by anyone because it's literally just the color yellow given physical form, and just focus on that "spicier the better" part. Even if you avoid the searing heat of some hellacious curry, the spice blend can still irritate your stomach lining, and if it had anything like lentils, chickpeas, or onion in it, that's another round in the colorectal chamber.
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