At first glance, the above picture seems to depict ... a kettle holder, maybe? Perhaps a really ill-advised scarf, like a stupid designer necktie thing that unscrupulous entrepreneurs peddle for the never-ending trickle of runners in the Yes-I'd-Like-to-Look-Like-an-Obnoxious-Hipster Marathon. Or maybe it's just some obscure kitchen utensil from the 1950s that your grandmother gave you as a present along with a $3 gift card to McDonald's and the hippest CD she could find at Walmart (which turns out to be The B-Side Collection by Maroon 5).
In reality, that might indeed be a gift from your grandmother -- but the recipient is your mom. For that piece of leather and suede, friends, is marketed under the name of the Stay Close b*****b Aid. How does it work? Why, the exact way that lizard part of your brain that is always the first to recognize terror is starting to suspect. Basically, someone saw that scene in The Big Lebowski where Jesus cleans his bowling ball, and thought: "Hey, wouldn't it make a great sex toy if we replaced that bowling ball with someone's face?"
Bowling is one of the most sensual sports, after all.
Yep, those are handles, and the leather/cloth part wraps around the back of your partner's head. If you can't figure out the rest, you are an alien spy and have no business reading articles about this particular spin on human sexual behavior anyway. Quickly, flee back to Proxima Centauri, B'larrf, and please convince the Elders not to zap us just because your instruments happened to capture humanity discussing head wrap prisons bought by guys who are too gentlemanly to outright grab their partners' ears -- yet.