Game of Death II
Game of Death was already impossibly bad. Bruce Lee died during filming and they not only released it, they used footage of his real funeral to finish it. It was a real-life, real-death and entirely humorless Weekend at Bernie's. People who use corpses in their plans are why Conan and Bruce Campbell exist to kill people. The fact the producers weren't spectrally kicked to death remains the most convincing proof there's no afterlife.
Eight years later, Bruce wasn't just still dead, he was much deader. The producers scraped up every spare frame of film they could find just to remind people he was gone, which was a bit of a problem because they'd already done that two Olympics ago. Disney villains have had less pointlessly evil plans, and the remaining clips contained less action than most yearbook photographs. They built the movie around him standing and talking to people, filling in the rest with stuntmen. Not stunt doubles -- because the makers didn't know what Bruce Lee looked like. It was still billed as "starring Bruce Lee," because "The back of Not Bruce Lee's head!" wouldn't make them as much money.
"Hello, master, I am definitely Bruce Lee!"
Even by 1981 standards the editing was terrible, and back then, good editing means you didn't drop pieces of film as you sellotaped them together. Bruce Lee spends the movie teleporting more than Doctor Who, and used physical violence less often. Entire scenes were built around one second of Lee standing in a doorway. If he'd owned an answering machine, they would have made the movie about him chasing a drug dealer called "The Tone."
Advanced training gives the monk the ability to grow and retract eyebrows when Bruce is in shot.
His replacement's martial arts are based entirely on facing away from the camera. His fight scenes so ludicrously prioritize "what people see" over "actually hurting anyone" you'd swear he was doing capoeira. The amazing thing is that he's only in the first 30 minutes of movie. Lee is killed off in a scene which is either an attack of conscience on the part of the scriptwriters, or a brag that offers definitive proof that the film was produced by Satan: "Bruce Lee" dies while desperately clinging to a martial artist's coffin which is being stolen by greedy evildoers. It couldn't be a more accurate movie summary if it was IMDB.
"Dignity" and "Dangling" have never been compatible.
When he's not watching the worst movies ever made, Luke McKinney tumbles and has a website. When he is watching the worst movies ever made they're Irish martial arts disasters and Milla Jovovich killing zombies.