Now, if you've never played this game, what I've described might look like two paragraphs of awesome and one paragraph where I told you my plans for my new young adult novel Cat Battle 7: Meowssacre. But it comes together so well that you don't even notice when you become really cautious about what your cat is wearing. You get a sense of "Oh, I bet you think you're sooo great" the first time you go into the multiplayer lobby and see someone else's cat dressed in a nicer hat than yours. I don't want to embarrass him in front of the other Palicoes. Plus, he's going to look so stylish when I give him a little cape that flows behind him as he throws tiny cat boomerangs at every Godzilla in the continent.
I Would Rather Groom My Pokemon Than Battle With Them
EVERYBODY IN THE BUILDING WHO GOT POKEMON SUN, THROW YOUR HANDS UP.
I got Pokemon Sun. That's why I did that. I am the Fred Durst of Pokemon, whatever that means.
For the diehard Monster Rancher fans out there, Pokemon is a game series in which most political and economic decisions are decided through forcing animals to duel. If I wanted to be president of Kanto or Johto or where ever, I'd simply walk up to the current president, catch his eye, and then beat his Pokemon into unconsciousness with my own. It's a simple system, and it seems to be effective, since the only troubles that the Poke-Utopia faces is when a bunch of morons decide to color coordinate and throw Ekans at you.
The Pokemon Company International
Look, guys. I know you put a lot of effort into your costumes, but maybe go home and rethink some stuff.
Later entries in the series have added a few things, because presumably, fighting forever with magic pets just wasn't enough of a draw. Pokemon games from Ruby and Sapphire up have had little contests, ranging from athletic competitions to fashion shows , and they all fall under "Maybe I should've gotten the new Mario instead." Look, it's 5 a.m., Pokemon. You've rendered the entire concept of time meaningless for me. Just let me trample the dreams of other trainers, unimpeded by your attempts to shoehorn a talent show into my journey.
Pokemon Sun and Moon even give you the option to groom your Pokemon after every single battle. No, you don't have to go to a certain building or buy a certain item. When you get done taking the money of a seven-year-old in swim shorts, the game lets you brush or blow-dry your 'mons. This often helps to cure your team of afflictions, whereas in earlier games, you bought a paycheck's worth of antidotes before you walked into the forest because you just knew that a Weedle was going to rain poison death on you.
At this point, all of the bullying at school doesn't seem so bad.