Like the middle-aged guy in New York City who fell right off Belvedere Castle in Central Park. If you haven't seen it, it looks like someone plopped a three-star Medieval Times in the middle of Manhattan. This dude climbed it to "impress a girl," according to police. His reward was a broken ankle and head injuries, and probably not a second date.
A university student in Pittsburgh went the extra mile when he was trying to impress his lady friend by jumping from one rooftop to another. The extra mile was of course not literal, because his distance game was shit and he fell, getting wedged between a bagel place and a fucking Qdoba Mexican eatery. They had to remove part of the wall of the Qdoba to get him free, which was probably not the most embarrassing thing to happen at a Qdoba that day.
Even celebrities aren't immune to the siren song of "Hey, come get up on top of this tall shit because she'll love it." The lead singer of Pulp, Jarvis Cocker, once fell out of a window trying to impress a girl.
But Cocker has nothing on the 16-year-old Russian who decided to swing on the railing of a balcony to prove to a girl that he could do it ... and then fell 230 feet. But don't worry, he didn't turn into a puddle of chunky lovelorn soup. A car actually broke his fall and he survived, albeit with some broken bones and damaged organs. Hell, that's more impressive than being able to swing on the damned rail.
Related: 4 Things Single Men Will Never Understand About Women
There's an episode of The Office wherein Michael decides to light a fire in a crowded parking lot in a misguided proposal attempt. Luckily, he is stopped before he commits felony vehicle arson, but this only means that truth is once again stranger than fiction, because there are dudes whose plans to burn their way into someone's heart never got the stop sign.
An 18-year-old in Germany is said to have burned his house to the ground after trying to romance a lady with the phrase "You set my heart on fire" spelled out in flaming candles. That's remarkably similar to the story of a dude in England who opted for tea lights to spell out his girlfriend's name, and subsequently destroyed his bedroom.
In Sweden, a guy who misunderstood both science and women chose to use fire in a much more robust fashion: by burning himself. In what was apparently a party trick, the guy doused his arm in gasoline and then lit it on fire. And in an outcome that surprised negative amounts of people, he didn't then make out with the girl while appropriately sexy saxophone music played, but rather was hospitalized for his burns.
The thing all these pyros for love have in common is that none of them intended for everything to go wrong. Not so for Jeff Wayne Oliver, though. He told cops that he lit his own home on fire on purpose, solely to impress his lady. Now, you may be curious as to how destroying your own home is impressive to anyone, and traditionally it's not. But Oliver's plan was to set the blaze and then extinguish it. That's right, he combined this bit with the "fake a crime to act the hero" thing from earlier. Truly, a master of seduction. Whether due to love or smoke inhalation, his girl would be swooning for sure.
Instead, what happened was that Oliver started a fire in his fridge, and then fell asleep. He fucked up the worst plan possible in the worst way possible, and ended up destroying most of his apartment. He was then charged with first-degree arson by a cruel system that clearly does not understand the ways of the heart.
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