He moved to Los Angeles, hanging out in the suburb of San Marino and wooing rich elderly widows, as one does in that city. Living as a sugar baby, he told them he was British royalty, complete with a story about being descended from a viceroy of India, all while talking with a Thurston Howell voice. Working his way through the clubs and circles, he eventually found himself close to having an MFA in film and partying with Spielberg, Lucas, Zemeckis, and a who's who of acting royalty.
Living in a guest house on the property of Ruth Sohus, Chichester first got into hot water when her son John and his wife Linda went missing. The case ended up on Unsolved Mysteries, and inspired Chichester to change his name to Christopher Crowe and pull up stakes. Heading back east in the '90s, he got himself in big with investment firms despite not having a college degree. He lost his first job when the Social Security number he used came back as belonging to one David Berkowitz, aka the Son of Sam killer.
Crowe moved on to another position -- all while, again, talking like the parody of a rich man from Gilligan's Fucking Island. Tipped off about authorities, Gerhart/Chichester/Crowe vanished before popping up a couple of years later as Clark Rockefeller, a long-lost heir of the famous oil dynasty. Putting his Mr. Magoo millionaire voice to good use, he got himself in with New York's elite muckety-mucks by becoming a connoisseur of modern art. He eventually married a woman named Sandra Boss after buddying up with her at a Clue-themed party. Why are rich people like this?
Unsurprisingly, their relationship went south, inspiring him to kidnap the little girl they'd had together. Authorities closed in on a wreck of a yacht belonging to one "Chip Smith" -- presumably yet another "new start" for the dude. They rescued the girl and gave her back to Boss, who insisted she was Gerhart's dupe and not his helper. In 2013, Gerhartreiter got 27 years to life for the murders of the Sohuses. He'll be up for parole in 2029, and if there's any justice in the world, he'll do his dumb accent during the hearing and get locked up until 3029.
For more, check out How To Become A Famous Serial Killer - Tales To Get Scared To:
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook ... or else.
45 Comments