Tennis is as civilized as football, only with more grunting and ball boys. Umpires who wish to serve at Wimbledon (which is roughly tennis' version of WrestleMania) have to go through extensive training, which includes being familiar with the curse words in a number of languages in case Maria Sharapova calls someone a worthless cock-strudel in Russian. Why does that matter? Because they fine players for swearing. You can get dinged with a $2,500 fine merely for telling your opponent to go fuck a pumpkin.
Similarly, Brazilian refs working the England vs U.S. World Cup matches back in 2010 had to brush up on English swears, both of the American and the Brit variety. After all, no one calls anyone a twat in Brazil.
Prostitutes Are Trained To Use Defibrillators
Sex workers have been getting a bad rap for a hell of a long time, because we live in a world in which people pretend their own sex lives are pure while other people's are depraved filth. The truth is that everyone eats ass in 2018 -- that's a fact I read on Twitter, which is where the president lives, so you know it's true. Sex work is a legit way to make a living, and people have been doing it for as long as some body parts have fit into other body parts. And now there are sex workers who are getting lifesaving training in the workplace -- not for themselves, but for clients who can't handle the ride.
Brothels in Switzerland started training employees to use defibrillators after a series of incidents convinced them it was necessary to do something to stop dudes from dropping dead mid-coitus. And let's be honest, you never want someone to drop dead in the middle of banging you. Aside from the trauma, how do you go about getting paid after that happens? And even if they paid in advance, there's no tip now. You can't just ask the next of kin, and if you try to sneak it yourself, it really looks bad on you.
The town of Lugano, where there are 38 brothels, instituted the policy back in 2010 after one elderly fellow took that long hard road out of town. One of the brothel owners pointed out that dead customers aren't good publicity. That is, of course, true of nearly every industry, except mortuaries and dystopian murder sports.
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