2) We have a better website
Granted, we have a slight advantage, in that we are a website. Consequently, we have IT professionals (I think they're Asian) whose sole job is to make our site look awesome. MAD has evidently not gone down that road.
What media company doesn't have content on their website? It's 2008 guys. Remember when everyone was talking about "the information superhighway?" That was 15 fucking years ago. Man up and go find one of those places Asians hang out (they have their own supermarkets, try there) and say you need help building a website. You won't regret it.
3) We're more environmentally friendly.
With a circulation of around 200,000 issues per month, MAD magazine destroys over 8000 trees a year, devastating countless wildlife habitats. Here at Cracked, by taking advantage of a paperless delivery system, for every article published we destroy no trees, and harm only a handful of animals.
4) We tackle tougher subjects.
At Cracked we only write about the thorniest issues
faced by today's comedy-patron. But here's MAD magazine picking on poor Circuit City.
How dare they! That's like making fun of an athlete at the Special Olympics. You leave Circuit City alone MAD Magazine! They are trying their best with the abilities God gave them.